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Time

 

Our three daughters are very different in personality. They are close in age, so their uniqueness has been a blessing. As they have become mothers themselves, their various personalities are evident in their parenting styles. Each one also has their own approach to time management.

#1 –  One daughter likes to plan ahead and keep a schedule. She will help plan meals for holiday family gatherings and post the schedule of events on the refrigerator for everyone to see. This is very helpful, since with 9 children under 6 (soon to be 11) in our extended family, everyone knows ahead when the next meal is and what will be served. It also prevents unexpected missing ingredients or insufficient amounts of food – we know what to fix and what time to begin preparation. If a change is made in the plan – it may cause dissent – “I thought we were having chili for lunch?”

#2 – One daughter likes to plan as she goes. She wants to leave time and opportunity for changes in the schedule that might come up. She has a plan in mind, but it is not written down. If plans change at the last-minute, she goes with the flow and usually has enough food, etc. to make it work. Once in a while, someone is gone on a walk or starts a game when it appears to be time to eat, but she can quickly adjust as needed.

#3 – One daughter does not want to plan too far ahead, she may miss out on fun! She likes to do things on the spur of the moment which often works well. It can be problematic, though, if others don’t value spontaneity. She is gregarious and includes others in activities which may involve food preparation, playing games, or finding a nearby playground.

 Obviously, these approaches to the use of time are quite different. One way is not better or worse than the other, all have their good and not-so-good aspects. It always makes for interesting family times! As a mother, I learned early that each daughter worked best in her own style and I have seen this as they have become adults. I now appreciate the advantages of the various approaches to time depending on the situations.

As we begin a new year, we often reflect on time. Each of us is given 24 hours in each day, but we often feel we don’t have enough time. People often say, “If only I had more time, I would…”  The reality is that we all do the things that are most important to us.

Now, it is true that when you have small children, your time is not your own. There are often times when you don’t have time to do certain things. Yet most of us also use time in ways that are not “essential”. If you feel that you never finish what you need to, try method #1. Make a schedule, put down a time for each essential activity and stick to it. You will find that as you finish each task, your attention will not be on what is not finished, but what you were able to do.

If you want more flexibility in your schedule, decide like #3 to “go with the flow” for a day. You may be surprised by what happens!

Finally, you may feel that #2 is the best way for you to deal with time in your situation. This may change as circumstances change in our lives. The most important key to time management is held in the following verses –

James 4:13-15 (NIV)

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”                                                                                                                                                       14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.                                                                                                                                         15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Notice it does not say to avoid making plans – it does say that God’s will MUST be the deciding factor. So, as we plan the time we have each day, let’s keep our focus this year on seeking God’s will first and foremost.

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Sixty

I was staying with my grandparents over the Christmas holidays when I was about 10 years old. They were members of a group at College Church in Wheaton called “60+ Club”. It was a fellowship group for people over 60 years old. “60+” was having a Christmas party and since I was staying with my grandparents they took me with them. I’ll always remember the way my grandparents introduced me to their friends. They seemed so proud of me and wanted their friends to know I was their grandchild. I already knew many of these people because our whole family had attended College Church my whole life!  Another thing I remember was the way the people there addressed each other. It was “Rev. Barker” and “Mrs. Gustafsson”, “Mr. Fischer”, and “Mrs. Alexander”. These people knew each other well but no one called each other by their first names! They were very gracious and made me feel like an honored guest, not a bother who my grandparents had to drag along. The final memory is how OLD these people seemed. They were all over 60!

I will be 60 in four days. I am looking forward to it! I have so much to be thankful for and so many wonderful opportunities to look forward to. Just last week one of my Art II students was acting lazy and tired in class. I said, “Jim, (not his real name) I have more energy at my age than you do at 16!”  Jim looked at me and replied, “I think people should just die when they turn 60!” Most of the rest of the class was horrified! Several of my students knew that I was going to be 60 soon. Several other students laughed – I did, too.  “Jim, I will be 60 soon and I enjoy life so much. I have many things to be thankful for.”  I replied. Besides teaching art – I hope to teach them life does not end at 30.

I was reminded by this incident that our culture has deceived young people into thinking that you only have fun in life when you are young. The lie is also pervasive that after 30 there is nothing worth living for. “The best years of your life”… when are those? Certainly not after 30 and definitely not after 60! How sad!

The Bible tells of numerous people who had their finest moments when they were old and “full of years”. Moses became the leader of the Israelites after 40, Abraham, Sarah, Elizabeth, Zechariah, all were used of God when they were old.

As someone who is now facing “the rest of my life” I want to be a testimony of someone who enjoys every minute that God gives me to fulfill His purposes. I was blessed with 4 grandparents who lived fully until the very end of their lives. My father’s father did acquire some dementia his last few years, but each dessert was “the best I ever tasted”, and each flower was the “most beautiful I have ever seen”. What a pleasant way to finish life. Instead of pining for the past – Grandpa Barker certainly enjoyed the present!

My Grandmother Rohner painted lovely paintings past her 90th birthday. Until her final months, she was still collecting pictures and thinking about layouts for paintings that she never painted, but she was still planning!

As a grandmother myself now, I want to model for my grandchildren a zest for life and an appreciation for the blessings of God’s faithfulness. I want to let them see by example that getting older is not something to dread or lament but something to receive from God since He is the one who numbers our days.

These verses are a chorus we sing that is one of my ALL TIME favorites. May we be living testimonies of this Truth!

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
      His mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning; 
      great is Your faithfulness.