Category Archives: Grandparenting

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Mothering Mistakes

This picture shows 4 generations – 3 mothers. How blessed we were to have my mother with us until she went on to her eternal rest in the presence of her Lord and savior – Jesus. She lived on this earth until she was 90 years old – her body was becoming weaker, but her mind and spirit were strong until the end. Mother had heart surgery to repair a leaking heart valve. She was told the risk involved in surgery for someone her age and her words still resound in my heart when I miss her – “Gayle. either way I win! I will have a repaired heart and more energy, or I will be in the presence of Jesus!”

She won. She is in the presence of Jesus.

My mother talked often about her hope – the knowledge that she would dwell in eternity in the presence of God. She viewed her present sufferings “in light of eternity”, one of her favorite phrases. Sometimes I resented her attitude – “but now, in the present, this suffering is REAL”. I even saw it at times as an escape from facing the very real suffering in the present. Yet as I get older I appreciate more each day my mother’s faith in her Heavenly Father. Eternity is more real as more and more of my dear family, friends, and brothers and sisters in the Lord pass on from this life.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was thinking about how I would be as a mother. My mother was a wonderful mother. We always had a loving and respectful relationship, even in my teenage years. Yet I remember telling my mother “I think you are a great mother, but I won’t parent our child exactly like you did.” In her wisdom Mother replied –

“You are right, Gayle, you won’t make the same mistakes I made. You will make your own mistakes.”

What wisdom! I realize all these years later, with children 46, 45, 44, and 42 I certainly have made mistakes, and God’s grace has been there every step of the way.

In Ephesians 3:14-21 Paul is praying for the church at Ephesus.

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

What a perfect prayer for mothers! Praying that God our Father would:

  • strengthen us through his Holy Spirit
  • dwell in our hearts through faith
  • cause us to become rooted and established in God’s love
  • empower us to grasp how wide, long, high, and deep God’s love is
  • quiet our hearts to KNOW that love
  • equip us to become filled with the measure of all God’s fullness

We have all made mistakes as mothers, and we will continue to make mistakes as long as we live in this fallen, broken world. Verse 20 gives me so much HOPE. God is able to to do “immeasurably more that we ask or imagine”. I can imagine wonderful things for my family, yet God’s plan is far beyond even my wildest dreams.

The final part of this prayer is the foundation of my hope – v. 21 – “to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout ALL Generations!” This promise is for me, my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, for ever and ever! AMEN!

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Manners Matter

I wrote this blog post in July 2011. It is hard to believe 13 years have passed by since then! This week someone commented on this post which made me read it again. There is much mentioned in current culture about people being disrespectful to each other. Is politeness a thing of the past? I am pleased to say that while campaigning this past month I have met many respectful, polite individuals. A number of these people have been students at WCU. I can testify that politeness is alive and well – yet we MUST pass it on. With that in mind I share the following….

“We have had the privilege of spending lots of time this past month with all 9 of our grandchildren. It was especially nice because three of our grandsons live across the country from us, so we are blessed whenever we are able to have time together. Our grandchildren are learning manners, and it is so nice to hear “please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome” and other polite phrases from these little ones. It is often amusing as they learn the correct meaning, and therefore the correct use, of polite language. I gave one of our grandsons a snack and his mother said “What do you say to Nana?” He replied “sorry” while putting the snack in his mouth – I couldn’t help but laugh!

This training in manners from parents is so essential, and not often valued in our current culture. Manners have sometimes gotten “bad press” in the recent past because those imposing “correct behavior” sometimes had ulterior motives. Various ways of behaving and speaking classified people, often unfairly. Yet common courtesy should never go out of style and it is even more important as our children interact with people in a culture that is increasingly more diverse.

Speaking politely and showing thankfulness are ways to honor others. As a high school art teacher, I see many students who use polite language and those are often the students who have lots of friends and are highly regarded by their peers. Students who are demanding and rude are generally the most unhappy people and not surprisingly, seem to have few friends.

I had a student ask me last year, “Mrs. Woody, why do you always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to us? ”  I answered, “I want to speak respectfully to you all, just as I want you to speak respectfully to me.” It is exactly the same for us as parents. We must model for our children the language and words we want them to use. This is especially true of how we speak to our spouse. Our children will talk to their dads just the way we talk to our husbands. Yes, and children will talk to mom the way they hear their dad talk to her. OUCH! When we ask for help from our spouse or children do we say “please?”  Do we respond with a “thank you?”

Manners mattered enough to Jesus that He singled out one man who came back and thanked him after being healed. Luke tells about this situation in Luke 17:11-19

 11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” 14When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. 15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

“Thank you”  was important to Jesus because it revealed what was in the man’s heart. Those polite words do the same thing for us, our spouses, our children, and others. It shows that we value and appreciate each other, just as Jesus does.”

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Known by Name

It is a common story in our family that our father knew every plant in our mountain region by name. That was part of his job as a Naturalist – to know and share the names of the plants in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Now he was humble and quick to deny that he knew the name of EVERY plant, yet I never remember asking him the name of a plant he did not know. We frequently went on hikes with our father as children and after he retired and came back to live permanently in the mountains he continued to share his knowledge of plant names. My older brother Garry and I have often said we wished we had paid attention when Dad was sharing his vast knowledge. Our younger brother, Gregg, has a son who has an immense knowledge of his own in plant taxonomy. Our Dad was SO proud of this grandson and enjoyed “talking plants” with Evan.

We have planted a tree in honor of the birth of each of our grandchildren. These trees are growing just as our grandchildren are growing. They also remind us of several truths in grandparenting.

  • each child/tree is unique
  • they grow at their own pace (as with trees – some are taller/shorter, bigger/smaller than others)
  • environmental/nurturing conditions affect growth
  • some “bloom” every year, some do not
  • some struggle at times and need extra attention
  • there are times a tree/child needs pruning (discipline) to ensure greater growth
  • adverse conditions greatly impact growth

Each of our grandchildren has a name. I sometimes call them the wrong name – just as I did their parents. Their names are unique just as they are. Looking at the trees planted in their honor reminds me just how different and special each grandchild is.

Our Heavenly Father looks at us the same way.

Psalm 139:13-15 N L T

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

Just as we know the names of our grandchildren or the trees around us, God knows us by name. He does not forget who we are or call us the wrong name.

I love that God tells us, His people, that He has called us BY NAME.

He knows us,

He formed us

We are His.