Category Archives: Parenting

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Mothering Mistakes

This picture shows 4 generations – 3 mothers. How blessed we were to have my mother with us until she went on to her eternal rest in the presence of her Lord and savior – Jesus. She lived on this earth until she was 90 years old – her body was becoming weaker, but her mind and spirit were strong until the end. Mother had heart surgery to repair a leaking heart valve. She was told the risk involved in surgery for someone her age and her words still resound in my heart when I miss her – “Gayle. either way I win! I will have a repaired heart and more energy, or I will be in the presence of Jesus!”

She won. She is in the presence of Jesus.

My mother talked often about her hope – the knowledge that she would dwell in eternity in the presence of God. She viewed her present sufferings “in light of eternity”, one of her favorite phrases. Sometimes I resented her attitude – “but now, in the present, this suffering is REAL”. I even saw it at times as an escape from facing the very real suffering in the present. Yet as I get older I appreciate more each day my mother’s faith in her Heavenly Father. Eternity is more real as more and more of my dear family, friends, and brothers and sisters in the Lord pass on from this life.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was thinking about how I would be as a mother. My mother was a wonderful mother. We always had a loving and respectful relationship, even in my teenage years. Yet I remember telling my mother “I think you are a great mother, but I won’t parent our child exactly like you did.” In her wisdom Mother replied –

“You are right, Gayle, you won’t make the same mistakes I made. You will make your own mistakes.”

What wisdom! I realize all these years later, with children 46, 45, 44, and 42 I certainly have made mistakes, and God’s grace has been there every step of the way.

In Ephesians 3:14-21 Paul is praying for the church at Ephesus.

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

What a perfect prayer for mothers! Praying that God our Father would:

  • strengthen us through his Holy Spirit
  • dwell in our hearts through faith
  • cause us to become rooted and established in God’s love
  • empower us to grasp how wide, long, high, and deep God’s love is
  • quiet our hearts to KNOW that love
  • equip us to become filled with the measure of all God’s fullness

We have all made mistakes as mothers, and we will continue to make mistakes as long as we live in this fallen, broken world. Verse 20 gives me so much HOPE. God is able to to do “immeasurably more that we ask or imagine”. I can imagine wonderful things for my family, yet God’s plan is far beyond even my wildest dreams.

The final part of this prayer is the foundation of my hope – v. 21 – “to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout ALL Generations!” This promise is for me, my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, for ever and ever! AMEN!

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Manners Matter

I wrote this blog post in July 2011. It is hard to believe 13 years have passed by since then! This week someone commented on this post which made me read it again. There is much mentioned in current culture about people being disrespectful to each other. Is politeness a thing of the past? I am pleased to say that while campaigning this past month I have met many respectful, polite individuals. A number of these people have been students at WCU. I can testify that politeness is alive and well – yet we MUST pass it on. With that in mind I share the following….

“We have had the privilege of spending lots of time this past month with all 9 of our grandchildren. It was especially nice because three of our grandsons live across the country from us, so we are blessed whenever we are able to have time together. Our grandchildren are learning manners, and it is so nice to hear “please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome” and other polite phrases from these little ones. It is often amusing as they learn the correct meaning, and therefore the correct use, of polite language. I gave one of our grandsons a snack and his mother said “What do you say to Nana?” He replied “sorry” while putting the snack in his mouth – I couldn’t help but laugh!

This training in manners from parents is so essential, and not often valued in our current culture. Manners have sometimes gotten “bad press” in the recent past because those imposing “correct behavior” sometimes had ulterior motives. Various ways of behaving and speaking classified people, often unfairly. Yet common courtesy should never go out of style and it is even more important as our children interact with people in a culture that is increasingly more diverse.

Speaking politely and showing thankfulness are ways to honor others. As a high school art teacher, I see many students who use polite language and those are often the students who have lots of friends and are highly regarded by their peers. Students who are demanding and rude are generally the most unhappy people and not surprisingly, seem to have few friends.

I had a student ask me last year, “Mrs. Woody, why do you always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to us? ”  I answered, “I want to speak respectfully to you all, just as I want you to speak respectfully to me.” It is exactly the same for us as parents. We must model for our children the language and words we want them to use. This is especially true of how we speak to our spouse. Our children will talk to their dads just the way we talk to our husbands. Yes, and children will talk to mom the way they hear their dad talk to her. OUCH! When we ask for help from our spouse or children do we say “please?”  Do we respond with a “thank you?”

Manners mattered enough to Jesus that He singled out one man who came back and thanked him after being healed. Luke tells about this situation in Luke 17:11-19

 11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” 14When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. 15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

“Thank you”  was important to Jesus because it revealed what was in the man’s heart. Those polite words do the same thing for us, our spouses, our children, and others. It shows that we value and appreciate each other, just as Jesus does.”

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Happy Mother’s Day

I was talking to our daughter Hannah today – wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day – expressing to her how thankful I am for the mothers she and her sisters are. I sent them these flowers, well this picture of the flowers. 🙂

Hannah thanked me for being her mother, which has been a blessing since the day her smile graced this world. I told her I had a wonderful mother who also had a wonderful mother!

Truth be told, I am not sure about the mothers beyond that. My mother’s mother left Sweden in 1920 – by herself – at 16 to immigrate to the United States. Great Grandma Anderson did something I can’t imagine allowing my daughter do at 16 years old – leave on a ship traversing the ocean not knowing if I would ever see her again!

The mothers in my families’ past (as far as family stories go) share one foundational characteristic – faith in God. I have a picture of my Grandmother Barker as a small child on her Grandmother Brant’s lap. It was taken in 1898 and there are white tents in the background. The family is at a church Camp Meeting in rural Illinois. I have Grandma Barker’s Bible and it is well marked and her notes line the margins.

So, I am the blessed recipient of generations of mothers who have lived with faith in God. They certainly weren’t perfect, nor did they have lives void of pain and suffering. Yet by the grace of God they passed on that faith to following generations including me.

The sermon today included the following passage of scripture about Mary, Jesus’ mother. After the angel comes to Mary to announce that she will give birth to the Son of God by the power of the Holy Spirit, Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth. Luke 1:39-45 says

39 A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town 40 where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. 41 At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.

42 Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. 43 Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? 44 When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. 45 You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.”

The last verse – 45 – jumped out at me. Why was Mary blessed? “You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.”

Mary wasn’t blessed because she was perfect, more intelligent, better looking, or stronger than others. She was blessed because she had faith that God would do what he said. God told her she would give birth to the Son of God, the promised messiah who would fulfill the covenant made to Abraham. God was faithful to his promise.

I will be blessed and my children and grandchildren will be blessed from generation to generation when I have faith and believe that God will do what he said. That is the greatest legacy I can leave as a mother.