It’s Hot, Tempers Flare!

“Stop that!”

“You did it first!”

“When is it MY turn?”

“I’m always last!”

“These kids are driving me nuts!”

Don’t these whiny words seem all the more irritating when it is hot?

I remember riding in the car with my brothers when we were young. It was not air-conditioned, and all three of us were in the back seat with no dividers or arm rests. I didn’t want my brothers to touch me, or my stuffed dog, Spotty…..

or even LOOK at me!

I remember my father saying that if the whining didn’t stop, he was going to pull over.

We knew what that meant.

We stopped whining, but we glared at each other.

Well, Gregg and I did…. Garry was reading.

This scenario never happened in the winter. Why not? We rode in the same car on the same back seat….but it wasn’t hot!

As a parent, I remember facing the same situation when our children were young. We did have air conditioning, but usually just opened the windows and we had more room in our Volkswagen Vanagan. (We often had to push it off to get it to start, though.)

I still faced the whining when it was hot, and my patience seemed to melt away along with the higher temperatures.

As the temperature rose, so did the volume of my voice.

How can we face the heat and also the fact that we and our children must control our tempers?

The source of this kind of anger is often physical discomfort. We have no control over the weather, but we can control our response to it. In thinking about this, I remember some helpful suggestions that I have heard and tried over the years:

  • do chores first thing in the morning – it is usually cooler
  • have lots of water available at all times – hydration helps
  • plan for inside, quiet activities during the heat of the day – usually 11:00 to 2:00 or so
  • this is a good time for reading, a video, playing games
  • get in the water – a river, creek, pool, lake, ocean, if possible in the afternoon
  • if not  – turn on a hose or sprinkler
  • plan meals that don’t require a hot stove or oven – sandwiches, fruits and fresh veggies

If riding very far in the car, plan ahead to have enough books, coloring books, or games so there is less chance of squabbling between siblings. Our daughters often use stories on CD in the car and their children really enjoy them.

The Bible addresses the importance of controlling our anger. Ephesians 4:31-32 says –

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

We should admit to ourselves and our children that it is HOT and that we all feel the effects, BUT, we will still be kind to each other, avoiding harsh words and a mean tone of voice.

This does not mean that we don’t correct or discipline our children when they intentionally and willfully disobey. The heat does not justify bad behavior.

It does mean that we give grace to each other, just as God has shown His grace to us.

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Brokenhearted

 Carolyn Cole/Los Angeles Times

How do I respond to the horrific, senseless violence that is sweeping the world?

Is it getting worse, or do I just hear about it more frequently because of the 24/7 media coverage that sends an unending stream of information and images from throughout the world?

How do I help my children and grandchildren process these events without causing them to live crippled by fear?

  • the killing of police officers in Dallas
  • the shooting of unarmed black youth in several US cities
  • the massacre of 41 innocent civilians in Turkey
  • the gunning down of 49 people in a night club in Orlando
  • 14 are shot dead in San Bernardino, California

and yet more personal …

  • the senseless murder of a dear young mother’s husband in Atlanta

This lovely young woman, a long time friend of our family, has been working tirelessly to eradicate human trafficking as an Assistant to the Attorney General of Georgia. She is now faced with raising her precious little girl without the loving support of a father.

I must respond with genuine concern and compassion to all those involved.

Jesus did that.

Right before he was crucified, on the Mount of Olives, Roman soldiers (the despised oppressors of the Jews in Jerusalem) approached Jesus to arrest him. Peter responded with violence – cutting off the ear of the High Priest’s servant.

Mark 22:51 – But Jesus said, “No more of this.” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.

NO MORE OF THIS!

Our response to the violence and suffering around us must be an example to our children and grandchildren.

No more of this. We are brokenhearted.

If we  – for one moment – we think “maybe they deserved this” we are WRONG!

We MUST respond with compassion. If we do not feel compassion for the those shot and their suffering loved ones, regardless of the situation, we must repent.

Psalm 34:18-19 (NLT)

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

19 The righteous person faces many troubles,
but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

Our children and grandchildren will form their understanding of suffering from the way they hear and see us respond.

  • if we express fear – they will fear
  • if we express hatred – they will learn to hate
  • if we seek revenge – they will seek revenge
  • if we express compassion – they will learn compassion
  • if we trust God for justice – they will learn to trust God

I heard an inspiring message Sunday from Rev. Reggie Screen of Atlanta. This Godly black man challenged us to have compassionate hearts in light of the violence all around us. He challenged us to be like Jesus. Reggie encouraged us that as things are darkest – the light of Jesus shines brightest.

We must be brokenhearted like Jesus.

We must have compassion.

We must love others and demonstrate that love at every opportunity.

We must seek justice and love mercy.

Oh, God, heal our land….