Category Archives: Being a Daughter

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A Legacy of Lasting Love

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This week, my father passed on to his eternal reward. We have received so many kind, thoughtful, and meaningful messages from family and friends around the world. You realize at a time like this just how many lives are touched by one individual.

Even though it is my dad who died, every message references “Bark and Esther” or “Mr. and Mrs. Barker” or “your Dad and Mom”.

Together.

Husband and wife.

67 years of marriage.

It is like butter on hot cornbread – you can’t separate them.

Our son-in-law Tim wrote the following – “Bark was always interested in me and Salem and what we were up to. He and Esther have been great examples of what a Godly marriage looks like.”

A lasting legacy of love.

So much is written about love around Valentine’s Day. Some of it is meaningful and sincere. Some is self-serving and shallow. You can tell after being around a couple for a certain period of time whether their love is genuine or fake.

My friend Joyce told me today on the phone – ” I loved watching your parents together. You could see how much they loved each other.”

They did not practice “public displays of affection.” Their love was expressed through deference to the needs and feelings of each other.

Two days before Dad died he was retaining fluid and having difficulty breathing. I was sitting with him and he opened his eyes, looked at me, and said, “Gayle, where is Mother?”

“She went to take a nap, Dad. Is there something you need?”

“Oh, good.” Dad replied. “She needs to rest.”  Dad was struggling at the end of his life here on earth, yet his thoughts were of his wife’s health and comfort.

I will always remember Jay Fesperman telling young couples what the most important skill for effective parenting was for the parents to –

Love each other.

That creates an atmosphere of security, trust, and peace in the home. It is also the perfect environment for children to thrive.

I was blessed to grow up in a home where my parents truly loved each other.

Our home was not perfect – but my brothers and I never doubted that my parents genuinely loved each other. Our home was a secure place to live.

I Corinthians 13: 4-7  expresses real love this way –

4 Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

I am so very grateful for the legacy of love my parents have left behind.

It is worth far more than any material inheritance – it is of eternal value.

My father will be greatly missed. I pray that Phil and I and our children and grandchildren will carry on that legacy of lasting love.

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Deep Faith

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“They are fine. They have deep faith.”

My older brother spoke these words in response to my question, “How do you think Mom and Dad are doing?”

Ever since Garry said that, I have been asking myself a question –

Deep Faith – what is deep faith?

It is more than hope.

It is more than a reasoned sense.

It is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that GOD IS FAITHFUL.

No matter what happens, no matter how I feel, God is faithful.

As my “tween” grandchildren would say – “God’s got this.”

My 91-year-old father has been in the hospital and we are waiting for results from a myriad of tests. In the mean time, we must have deep faith. No matter what the results, God is faithful.

God is faithful to my dad who is weak and doesn’t like being in bed, poked and prodded.

God is faithful to my mother who is watching her mate of 68 years struggle.

God is faithful to my brothers and me as we watch the rock of our family seeming to fade.

Deep faith is based on the immovable, unchangeable, irrefutable fact that God is faithful. God will fulfill His purposes and His word assures us it is for our good. God is love.

Shallow faith is subject to the circumstances around us. Just like a shallow rooted plant, shallow faith

  • dries up when it is not watered
  • it is easily uprooted and destroyed
  • it can wither from being crowded out
  • it’s existence is based on outside conditions

Hebrews 11:1-3 (NIV)

11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.

3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Deep faith.

The kind of faith that stands firm no matter the circumstances.

May we have this deep faith in our loving, heavenly Father.

 

 

 

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Stacking Up Rocks

 

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My goal for this year is to stack rocks.

Do you ever have a song that gets stuck in your head? You find yourself “singing” the words over and over? Well, not necessarily singing them out loud, but the words repeatedly run through your mind like a creek flowing over rocks.

The new song “Stacking Up the Rocks” by Balsam Range, the award-winning bluegrass group with roots here in Jackson County, is that kind of song. If you haven’t heard it – you need to.

But be prepared – it will stick with you like honey on warm cornbread!

The chorus that keeps flowing through my head goes like this:

Stacking up the rocks at the edge of the water

A memorial of the miracles He did for thee

That all the people of the Lord might remember

That the hand of the Lord is mighty.

Buddy Melton was moved to write this song when his mother, Ann Melton, reminded him of a scripture in Joshua 4:1-8

Joshua 4:1-8 (NIV)

4 When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, 2 “Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, 3 and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.”

4 So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”

Buddy had experienced a miracle in his life when God healed him after a serious brain injury caused by a farming accident. This song is Buddy’s “memorial rock”.

Notice what verse 6 says “when your children ask you “What do these stones mean?” tell them…..”

I want to stack stones this year, maybe literally, but certainly figuratively.

I want to do this by –

  • recognizing each miracle – big and small – that God performs in my life
  • memorialize it in some way by writing it down, taking a photo, or making a piece of art
  • share it with my children and grandchildren

What a blessing it will be to remember “that the hand of the Lord is mighty!”

Let’s start stacking up rocks in 2016 …