Category Archives: Being a Daughter

by

My Father’s Daughter

IMG_5972-2
I have only had one person ever tell me that I look like my father.

I asked them if they had ever met my mother and they said “no.”

Ever since I can remember I have been told – “You look just like Esther!” I never have minded that, primarily because I think that my mother is an attractive person. Having three daughters has caused the comparison of appearance to be passed down. I have written this before but I think it bears repeating – someone once asked my mother – after saying how much I looked like her – whether our daughter Abigail reminded my mother of me at that age. My mother quickly replied, “Oh, no. Abigail is much prettier than Gayle ever was.”

So, I don’t look like my father, but I have inherited or acquired several of his traits.

* we both love to teach
* we both love plants and love to care for them, new blooms excite us!
* we both enjoy eating watermelon – the sweeter the better
* we enjoy biographies and reading about people’s lives
* we love to hear a good sermon
* we both enjoy gospel music sung from the heart

I am my father’s daughter. His love of teaching as a calling and a profession has had a profound influence on who I am. My father’s father and grandfather each spent some time teaching, although each held other career positions as well. My father was always proud of what he did and when I entered high school, I realized that he was respected by faculty and students alike. I am so thankful that I attended the school where my father taught because it gave me an opportunity to see him through my peers’ eyes.

I think it is important for us as parents and grandparents to share about our work with our children. Our attitudes about our jobs will be picked up by children whether we intend to share them or not. They will start to develop attitudes about work and careers by the things they see us say and do.

My favorite chapter in the Bible, Romans 12 gives advice about work, among other things –

Romans 12:9-13 NLT

9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

I am so thankful to be my father’s daughter. He has given me a legacy of honoring God through the work I am called to do. What a blessing!

by

Inside Out

Adahlyn in barn

You can often tell early, even from their toddler days, if a child is going to care about what they wear, or if clothes are just an afterthought.

Our son often put his clothes on backwards and only cared about what he put on if it had a logo or name of a sports team he favored. He is still pretty much that way, although I haven’t noticed that his clothes are ever on backwards. What he wears is still not a priority.

Our middle daughter cared about the color and style of her clothing as soon as she was able to see -in other words – right from birth. She would remove any clothing that did not meet her approval, which often delayed our departure for the library, church, pretty much anywhere we went. She would cry if her tights were wrinkled and if her socks didn’t match her outfit. Now she has her own style and always looks “well put together”. I haven’t heard her cry about clothes in years.

Clothes don’t make a person, but they certainly convey information about personality and prefrences. My mother let me pick out my clothes and I developed a taste for bright colors and “interesting” fabrics at an early age. (Need I say that our third daughter does NOT want me to pick out her clothes?)

In college – as an art major – my dress was considered…well..different. But artists have always dressed “differently”, ok, oddly. To compound matters, it was the early 1970’s and young people who WEREN’T art majors dressed expressively. I made long dresses out of bedspreads from India, patched my jeans with scraps of calico prints, wore tie dye when you had to make it yourself, and wore blue suede boots. I did not look as cool as I thought I did.

The Bible tells us that what we wear on the outside is not as important as what is on the inside.

1 Peter 3:3-5 (NLT)

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.

I think it is good to allow our children to wear what they want at times, yet let them know that there are other times they must wear certain things. Just as baseball players wear uniforms that identify them with their team, certain situations call for certain attire.

We also want our children to know that MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than the clothes they wear is the condition of their hearts – what’s inside. When conversations about clothes come up – use it as an opportunity to talk to them about the fact that what is in their hearts will show on their faces and in their words. If there is selfishness and impatience in our hearts – it will come out in our facial expressions and what we say.

Our challenge is to let God change us from the inside out.

Then it really doesn’t matter what we wear.

by

All Alone

twins 1
A loud cry of distress came from the bedroom where our daughter had just put her twin sons, aged three, to bed. They were staying with us for the weekend and the boys were pretty worn out from playing outside.

She opened the door, quietly entered the bedroom and realized that, in spite of some significantly loud crying, one twin was already asleep.

“What is wrong?” she asked between his sobs.

“I’m all alone!” he wailed.

“No, you are not. Amos is right here in bed with you,” his mom replied.

“He’s all alone, too!” came the answer.

Needless to say, we laughed about this situation and the irony of the little guy feeling alone with his brother next to him in the same bed.

Yet aren’t we guilty of the same response at times? We may be facing a difficult time in our marriage, with our children, or in the congregation where we fellowship. People are all around us, even in the same room, yet we feel all alone.

Mothers of new babies often feel this sense of isolation. This can be especially true if the new mom is staying home with the baby after having a job where there was social interaction on a daily basis.

I remember moving to Kentucky so that Phil could start seminary when our first child was just 3 months old. I was alone in a new community where I didn’t know anyone – with a baby who didn’t communicate verbally. Three months earlier I had been teaching kindergarten with 23 students who loved me and often told me so.

Now I was all alone

…with a baby.

I remember thinking about the best time to go to the laundrymat. When would I have the greatest chance to meet other moms of young children?

I was so lonely.

I wasn’t alone, though. My Heavenly Father was with me. I was so focused on my feelings of isolation that I did not recognize His presence. Just as Tyler did not feel the comfort of his brother’s presence, I did not sense that God was right with me in that new location.

Psalm 16:10-11 (NIV)

10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

God’s promise to us in Psalm 16 is that God will not abandon us – leave us alone. Verse 11 assures us that in God’s presense is FULLNESS of JOY!

When I feel alone, isolated, or think that I am “the only one who….” I must recognize that God is with me – I am NOT alone.

Our challenge as daughters of our Heavenly Father is to recognize God’s presence even when we don’t feel it. When we open ourselves to sensing that God is with us every moment of every day – that will become our reality.

God has not moved.

He is still on the throne.

He will never leave us all alone.