Category Archives: Being a Daughter

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A Lesson From Legos

Victoria Chapman 047

Children learn best while playing. This is not an earthshaking revelation for any observant parent. Children will begin sorting toys by type thus learning to differentiate at an early age. With little boys, this sorting is often “good guys” and “bad guys” while with little girls it is sometimes “babies” and “mommies”. Recent brain research verifies that information “sticks” when there is meaning and significance tied to new information. Children at play make meaning and significance for themselves, often displaying amazing imagination. I love to hear the descriptions our grandchildren use while playing outside at our house. We have an old spring house that Phil made into a play house. A little creek runs next to it – in the old days it ran through the spring house – and the children will prepare “food.” The specialties are soup (mud and water), cupcakes (hickory nut shells), and cereal (pieces of gravel). This play loosely mimics the sequencing of the cooking they see at home – YUM! Children will make a toy from anything.

Legos are an especially imaginative toy to play with. Our granddaughters have recently become very fond of the Lord of the Rings stories and were given a Lego set of the main characters in this J.R.R.Tolkien classic. They play by acting out the stories from the books and make up new stories as they play. Legos are so versatile and interchange from one set to the next. There are Lego sets for just about any interest a child has. Children will combine these sets and form completely new situations and settings with their play.

A guest speaker at our Fellowship yesterday made a meaningful point about Legos. He pointed out that there is something that all Legos have in common. They all have the ability to connect with other Legos. In thinking about this, I realized that there is an important lesson that we can all take away from playing with Legos. We can learn something from play just as our children do.

Connecting with one another makes each of us more significant.

One Lego by itself may be colorful, and even nice to look at, but by itself it is not much fun to play with. When it is connected to other Legos, it has much more use. The character Legos are made up of parts that fit together and can be changed to “re-form” a completely different figure. Yet the head by itself, or the legs all alone are not very engaging. Only when the parts are connected do they become what they were created to be. Even when using plain Legos, the more they are connected, the more significant the result. Blocks built up that don’t have those connectors like Legos are easily knocked down. It takes an effort to destroy a Lego structure!

This is a lesson for families. Each family member is unique and valuable – but when we are connected to one another as a family, we become more significant, more useful, and more COMPLETE!  As I see our grandchildren grow and see them relate to their siblings in positive ways, I see the blessing it is that they have each other as sisters and/or brothers. They learn that being loved and having someone to love  – connect with – enriches their lives beyond measure.

There may be times when we don’t want to connect as families. We need to remind ourselves and our children that God has purposes for placing us in families. Our strength as a family comes from our CONNECTIONS. As parents and grandparents we are building connections with these children that will help them grow as God’s children.

1 Corinthians 3:9-11 (NIV)

9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Sometime when your children are building with Legos, tell them about the connections God has made in your family.

Next week we will look at Lesson II from Legos – Building the Church.

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Celebrating Family

Tyler and the turtle

“I love my Pop because he plays with me and reads stories with funny voices. He takes me in the barn and gives me rides in the cart. Pop loves me and I love him.”

These and other words reflect the sentiments of our six eldest grandchildren as we celebrated Pop’s 60th birthday this weekend. Phil’s actual birthday was September 24th, but our eldest daughter couldn’t come from the west coast until early in October. So, since Phil doesn’t put much value on special days (or holidays in general) he was fine with celebrating when all of our four children could be here together. In fact, the only request that Phil had in regard to turning 60 was celebrating with family. We did well in that regard – all four children, one brother, 8 grandchildren, one son-in-law and 2 parents-in-law.

There was lots of playing outside in the leaves, piling them up and jumping in the pile. We had a campfire and roasted marshmallows and made s’mores.  Great grandpa lived up to his reputation of roasting the perfect marshmallow – an evenly light brown crust with a soft, oozing center. It is an art form!

The grandchildren played with a box turtle found by Great grandpa. This amazing turtle was oblivious to the children’s squeals of delight and never receded into its shell.  It crawled around and every time it was picked up and moved, it stayed out of its shell and just crawled more. It eventually crept under the periwinkle and hopefully has found peace, safety, and a food source.

The little branch that runs through the yard (it is too small to call a creek) was the next center of attention. The grandchildren made “soup”, “spaghetti” and other tasty delicacies. All had wet feet (including their socks and shoes) and mud splashed on clothes. Pop found a crawdad, and the claws held fascination for the children.

We picked some of the remaining flowers in the yard and the little ones took them to their mothers (or aunt). Then they came back to me and wanted a flower for themselves!

All these activities were a time to enjoy the wonder and beauty of God’s creation. The beauty of the fall trees and colorful leaves is often appreciated this time of year. Yet seeing the turtle and crawdad were special surprises that added to the blessing of being together as a family. Picking a flower blossom, even if it is taken apart petal by petal, is a chance to examine creation first hand.

Matthew 6:28-33 New Living Translation

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

The beauty of the leaves and flowers and the wonder of the turtle and crawdad were especially meaningful because we saw the wonder of God’s creation through the wonder in the eyes of our grandchildren.

Celebrating Family with our children and grandchildren this weekend was such a blessing. It didn’t cost any money to participate in those activities outside. After the children were in bed we talked and laughed and talked some more. We discussed watching a movie or playing a game, but we were all tired and only played a game together as adults once.

Celebrating family comes in many forms – different families have unique ways to celebrate. The important part is to celebrate the blessing of being together.

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Road Trip

We took a road trip to Wheaton, Illinois, my home town, this past weekend. “We” consisted of our youngest daughter, her four sons aged 3, twins aged 21 months, baby aged 5 months, and myself. We left Dillsboro, North Carolina at 12:00 noon on Thursday and arrived in Danville, Kentucky at 4:30 pm.  We spent the night there with our daughter’s friends and drove the rest of the way Friday arriving in Wheaton at my brother and sister-in-law’s (30 miles west of Chicago) at 3:00 pm. We then attended a soccer match at Wheaton College at 4:30. If your head is spinning, so was mine!

The purpose of the road trip was the 25 Year Celebration of the Women’s Soccer program and all former players were invited. Saturday also included events celebrating the soccer program’s anniversary. We visited with family Saturday evening and Sunday,  and then left to drive back to North Carolina on Monday morning. This part of the trip was a 12 hour drive, including three stops for meals and stretching legs, and an extra stop for gas.

Right now several of you are thinking…”Is she CRAZY?!!!! Admit it – you think we were out of our minds to travel over 1200 miles with four little boys in just a long weekend. The facts are that the trip went extremely well. The boys were well-behaved and there was only one time each day when they started fussing, right before supper. (that often happens when they are at home – the “whine-while-mom-fixes-supper” hour)

Looking back on my childhood, I have several fond memories of road trips. In fact, my brother and I reminisced about several of these last weekend. We traveled to Yellowstone National Park in 1958 in a sedan with a small hole in the rear floor board. We enjoyed dropping things through the hole and then watch out the back window as those things bounced around on the pavement. We looked for letters of the alphabet, “collected” state license plates, and sang songs for mile after mile. My younger brother also slept on the ledge behind the back seat. There were no seatbelts at that time, we just rolled around the back seat when the car went around curves. (I was so thankful for car seats on our recent road trip! Four floating, rolling, bumping little boys is not a pretty picture.)

Our daughter planned well for the trip. I know that attributed to the contented attitudes of the boys AND the adults. Here are some thoughts on making road trips kid friendly:

  • Have each child pack a tote with a few favorite toys and books. This helps your child feel secure and happy.
  • Have snacks that are non-messy. This makes less mess and avoids sticky car seats, windows, hair, etc.
  • Time trip to fit child’s schedule. We left after lunch so the boys would take their nap. It worked!
  • Plan to stay with family/friends who have children/grandchildren with similar ages as your children. The first night we stayed with a lovely young couple who had two boys. They had toys and a kid friendly home –  our boys felt at home right away. We had a delicious meal and then walked to a park where all five boys ran and played. We spent the next three nights with my brother and sister-in-law. They have a precious 6 month-old granddaughter so they also had toys and a port-a-crib. They took us to a farm/zoo for a picnic lunch which we all thoroughly enjoyed!
  • Save a new book or toy for that time when your child is travel weary. You will know it is time to break out the new toy because you start to feel crabby yourself!
  • Have favorite music to play and sing along. It may also be helpful to do hand motions. If you don’t know what the hand motions are – make some up. Even this limited movement makes riding in the car less tiresome.
  • Stop for meals, gas, and stretch/bathroom breaks where your children can move about. We stopped for two meals at places with a playground. This was so good for the boys to climb, slide, and jump. Another place had picnic tables and a bit of room to walk around.
  • Story tapes are entertaining and distracting for children 3 years and older.
  • Coloring books and puzzle books are great as soon as your child won’t eat the crayons. We weren’t there yet.
  • Talk about what you see out the window. We saw HUGE wind mills in Indiana, cows and horses on farms, several long trains, lots of farms, and the favorite of our crew – TUNNELS!

It is so easy as we get tired while traveling to snap at one another, become irritable, and fuss and whine. Yes, I mean we adults! Jesus faced a situation on one of His journeys where a huge crowd had followed Him and people were crowded around (somewhat like inside a van with 6 people?) and making demands. (I’m tired…. I’m hungry…I don’t want to share…)

Mark 10:13-14  (NLT)

13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so He could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14 When Jesus saw what was happening, He was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.

This is such a lovely picture to me. I want to be like Jesus. I want to reflect our Father’s love to these children that are so precious in His sight. We all have blown it just as these disciples did and been impatient with our children and grandchildren. But we don’t have to remain that way. We can choose to embrace and accept them just as Jesus did.

Oh, by the way….. for those of you who read the post last week No Sense of Direction – our daughter navigated and we did not get lost once! (the two times I suggested an alternate route, she didn’t follow it – it’s a good thing – I was wrong)