Category Archives: Being a Friend

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Laugh At the Days to Come

Don't laugh now!

Don’t laugh now!

Our son told me years ago – and in fact reminded me of this recently – that before I tell a joke, I needed to run it by him to make sure it was really funny.

I don’t think so.

First of all, I am a 62 year old female. I don’t expect the things I find funny to be funny to young men.

Secondly, I do not find it funny when people are physically hurt. Males tend to LAUGH when someone falls down. I feel their pain and want to help them up. I am not sure I always trust my son’s evaluation of my humor.

Finally, what a person finds funny changes over time. I now find it so funny when small children say things really loud in quiet places. When my own children did this – it wasn’t funny.

I also think it is funny to tell my students that organic shapes (as opposed to geometric shapes) are shapes that have no preservatives or additives.

One student actually laughed, so I felt good about my effort to use humor in class.

Laughter is important. It lightens our mood, refreshes our outlook, and it can be contagious.

Solomon gives this wise council when describing a Godly woman.

Proverbs 31:25-26 NLT

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.

Why is she able to laugh at the future? Because she has strength and dignity. I believe it also means that she doesn’t take herself too seriously.

She doesn’t know what her future holds, but she knows God holds her future.

Let’s laugh together with our children.

Let’s laugh together with our grandchildren.

Let’s laugh together with our friends.

Let’s laugh at the days to come because we trust in our Father’s faithfulness.

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The Speck and the Log

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“So, do you want the fall colored set or the summer colored set?” I asked as two of our daughters allowed me to shop with them. We were looking at dish towels.

I say “allowed” me because truth be told, NONE of our four children like to shop with me. They say I look at everything in the store – even things I don’t want. I like to look.

Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who does like to shop with me. Carol says I take too long, Alice Marie says I ask her what she thinks about something, and then after she offers her opinion, I ignor it.

I guess I wouldn’t want to shop with me either.

So, back to our daughters – I was asking them to pick out new dish towels because after staying in each of their homes recently, I noticed that their dish towels looked stained and dirty. Let me be clear – the towels were CLEAN! Yet we all know that after a while, the old dish towel is past the point of looking clean. They look like Chicago Bears uniforms when they play at home after a freeze – muddy and dirty! This is the point at which the old dish towel should begin it’s new life as a rag.

Neither daughter seemed to think that their towels were alll that bad. I assured them that oh, yes, they were and so reluctantly they each picked out a new set. Mission accomplished.

Two days later I was cleaning up in my own kitchen. I opened the towel drawer to get out a fresh, clean dish towel to hang over the freshly cleaned sink. The first one I chose was awful! How did this rag get into my towel drawer?

The next towel I chose to hang was no better! In fact, there was not one clean looking dish towel in my kitchen.

I had to smile as I remembered the urgency with which I talked my daughters into the necessity of clean looking dish towels. Yet, I had not noticed my own towels’ pitiful state.

How true this is of many areas of our lives. We are quick to notice the “dirty towels” in others lives, when ours’ may be just as bad or worse.

Jesus addressed this very issue in Luke 6:41-43 (NLT)

41 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 42 How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

Could it be that the very thing we feel needs to be changed in our daughter-in-law (son-in-law) (neighbor) (co-worker) (fellow church worker) is an issue that we ourselves have trouble with?

How blind we can be to our own “issues!”

Next time I feel the need to “clean up” someone else’s towels – I best check my own first.

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Kid Friendly Homes

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“I want our house to be the house where our children’s friends want to hang out.”

I can remember saying that when our children were young. Yet to be that kind of house doesn’t just happen when our children become teenagers.

Oh, no. It starts way before that – when our children are around 5 or six years old. We set the tone early on and it lives on throughout our child’s teenage years, even into adulthood. Is our home a friendly, nurturing place? Do children feel welcome? Do we ask them about themselves and LISTEN when they answer?

Since we wanted a kid friendly home, it meant that I had to tolerate mess, noise, and consumption of large amounts of food. (of course that was normal life when just our four were home) Now looking back I can honestly say I really did enjoy having our children’s friends over. I got to know them as indiviudals and observed how our children acted around their friends.

I am NOT a perfectionist when it comes to house cleaning.

OK, I am not CLOSE to a perfectionist – I dust once a month whether it needs it or not! At one point in time when our children were young, the bathtub in our upstairs bathroom didn’t work. When I cleaned upstairs I would put all the random items in the bathtub and pull the shower curtain shut.
“Out of sight, out of mind.” (I know some of you are cringing right now!)

Yet I enjoy having people over and have always felt that people are more important than my house. I have great memories of our children’s friends playing with the Fisher-Price toys, or making baseball diamonds in the field behind our house. That was before they paved paradise and put in a parking lot.

To ensure that our homes are kid friendly means that we must plan ahead. A few helpful guidelines will make it a pleasant experience for all:
* Put the valuable breakables on high shelves or out of sight.
* It is ok to have places in our homes that are off limits like dad’s office, a sewing room, or
anywhere that children could hurt themselves or others.
* Clearly communicate “house rules” – such as – no hitting, no calling names, taking turns, etc.
* Supervise at all times – know where all children are and keep yourself engaged with them.
* If children are using media, know what it is – or turn it off!
* Play outside whenever possible – less mess to clean up!
* If conflicts break out (should I say when?) redirect. Read a story or play a group game.
* Smile and laugh with the children! Have fun. Your own children will be blessed.

Jesus went out of His way to welcome children.

Mark 9:36-38 (NLT)

36 Then he put a little child among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.”

When we welcome our children’s friends into our homes, we are welcoming Jesus!

That is the way God wants us to see it. Hopefully our children’s friends will see Jesus in us.