Category Archives: Being a Wife

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Tested by Time

I had the wonderful privilege of speaking at a Woman’s Retreat this weekend. It was sponsored by a local church, yet they made an effort to include women from outside their congregation. What a joy it was to meet the diverse people who attended! There was diversity on many levels, various ages, diverse ethnicity, married, single, divorced, and widowed. The women spanned ages from 77 to 22, with the  inclusion of one precious 6 month old. It was a microcosm of the Body of Christ – each woman unique but sharing a desire to follow Jesus. I was blessed beyond words with the sincerity evidenced by the participants. They opened their Bibles, listened intently, and took notes. (I didn’t see anyone reading electronic messages or texting during the four messages I shared. )

I have been blessed over the years to attend several women’s retreats and conferences. I have heard inspiring Bible teaching and been challenged in my walk with the Lord. My favorite sessions included clear teaching from God’s Word and practical application for my life. I can remember hearing Elisabeth Elliot speak in 1973 at Urbana (a college age missions conference).  I can’t tell you the times her words have challenged me in the many years since that conference. I also was blessed by a godly Bible teacher, Sally Fesperman, starting in 1975 and spanning many years. She was an older woman who took seriously the Biblical mandate “older women should teach younger women to love their husbands and children.” Titus 3:5

I can remember praying and asking God to allow me to share with women as Elizabeth Elliot and Sally Fesperman did. I was so blessed by their teaching and I wanted to be used by God as they were. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

I sensed the Holy Spirit asking me at that time – “These two women bless you, yet are you willing to suffer what they have suffered? Their lives have been tried by my refining fire.”

Whoa.

I was stunned.

 photo from www.onethankfulmom.com

Elizabeth Elliot lost her husband when he was murdered by the native people in Ecuador he was making contact with. His intent was to share Jesus with this remote group of people.

    photo from findagrave.com

Sally Fesperman lost her first husband in World War II, and her only son was killed by a run away dump truck soon before he was to be married at age 24.

These women were sharing from the refining fire of suffering. Their words were powerful because they had been forged by holding unto the Truth of God’s faithfulness in spite of the circumstances. They both had suffered, yet when hearing them share, you saw joy and peace radiate from their faces.

I could not answer yes to that question stirring in my heart. I didn’t want to suffer – to lose my husband or my children. I was clearly NOT ready to share with others what I had not lived through myself. Sharing others’ stories can be good, yet the testimony of a woman tested by time is powerful.

I also have come to realize that I held unto several false beliefs because I wanted them to be true. Those false beliefs would have been stumbling blocks to anyone I shared them with.

God in His wisdom has allowed me to be tested by time. The difference from who I am now and what I have to share is years of God’s faithfulness. In spite of my weakness, He is strong. The amazing fact for me is that even though I was arrogant and even prideful thinking I had something to share when I was young and untested – God has seen fit to allow me to share from His Word.

Isaiah 43: 1-3

But now, this is what the Lord says—
He who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name, you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

That is ALL I have to share that is of worth – the Truth of God’s Word. I have been tested by time and God is faithful!

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Scary Things

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All testimonies are not sweetness and light. In fact, as I get older, I have become suspicious of those who share only victories, blessings, and triumphs. Now, I do believe that God blesses His children. I believe that God answers prayer and has a plan for my good. But I am suspicious of those who only share the positive occurrences in their lives. I am suspicious because even Jesus “learned obedience through the things He suffered.” What makes me think that I am exempt from suffering? In fact, Jesus says in John 16:33 -“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (emphasis mine)

So – as long as I live in this world – I will have times of trouble. BUT, take heart. In other words, be encouraged. Not that everything will always go my way, but that there is no darkness where God is.

Our grandchildren wanted night lights in the bedrooms when they stayed with us over Thanksgiving. The unknown of the darkness caused them to be afraid. Once that faint, but visible night-light shown, they were able to feel safe and fall asleep.

Kathy, a friend who has been real, honest, and transparent shared a powerful testimony Sunday. It wasn’t about a victory, a blessing, or a triumph. It was the reality that when we face the scary things that can paralyze us with fear – God is light in the darkness. Situations are scary because we know the consequences can be devastating – even life threatening. There is reason for the fear we feel. Yet God wants to shine His light in those dark corners of doubt and fear. He wants to illuminate those circumstances in such a way that we can see Him in the midst of our circumstances.

Kathy encouraged us to see God in our scary situations. She shared this Scripture:

Isaiah 54:17

 No weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
    and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.

When, not if, we face those scary situations, may we remember –

1 John 1:5(NIV)

5 This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.

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The Wedding Gift

The Wedding Gift

By Phillip Hix Woody

I know they aren’t diamonds – these boots

But if you’ll give them a chance

I think they’ll make a fine pair of roots

for your feet.

You see, I thought it would be romantic

To walk in the woods with you

To get away from the frantic routine

and be alone.

I wanted your feet to be protected

And if I had suspected you’d be upset

I’d have bought you a diamond instead.

Maybe someday.

Someday we’ll hike to the end of a trail

where we’ll find hidden treasure.

And these boots will take us there.

Phil recently came home and handed me this poem. I loved it. It touched me in many ways, not the least of which, it was totally unexpected. We are blessed to have been married 37 years today – and I am still surprised by things my husband does. For example – he went flying Sunday afternoon in a small airplane flown by our pastor, John Makinson. Phil has always said he hates flying! He enjoyed this flight over our home and on into a part of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, much to my surprise.

When Phil gave me hiking boots as a wedding present, I must be honest and say that I was a bit disappointed. Yet, I know that I have enjoyed hiking with Phil in many places that I never would have dreamed of visiting. The interesting fact is that I remember being disappointed by the hiking boots, but I can’t think now of one gift I would rather have received.

There is a lesson in this for me – thirty seven years later. I should receive gifts as tokens of the relationship I have with the giver. It really is NOT about the gift – it is about the one who gives. Phil gave me the hiking boots because he wanted us to hike together. His motive was to share together something he loved doing. What a meaningful expression of love – one that blesses me as I read his poem.

So, on this our anniversary, I will share a Scripture that I have prayed concerning Phil many times.

Philippians 1:3-8

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

May we have many more years of hiking together!