We just had the privilege of taking care of our three granddaughters for a week. I am left with two overwhelming feelings – first – exhaustion  – and then a new and deep respect for our daughter and son-in-law as parents. I had forgotten just how constant the care of young children is. There is never any down time while 6, 4, and 2 year olds are awake. As you mothers of young children know – you must be ever mindful of where your children are and what they are doing.

I enjoyed every minute of  our granddaughters’ visit, yet I must admit  I was worn out. I had planned to do several small projects while they napped or after they went to bed. One project was crocheting a border around a new, small blanket. for the 2-year-old to carry (so it wouldn’t drag in the dirt)  RIGHT!  That did not happen. I was reminded of some helpful advice I received when our children were small. Elizabeth Elliot, author and Bible teacher, encouraged young mothers to deal with overwhelming stress by encouraging one to just “do the next thing”. I found this piece of wisdom so practical because I remember many times being overwhelmed by my responsibility as a mother of young children.

Instead of focusing on all I had to do and knowing there were not enough hours in the day to get it all done, I would “do the next thing ” and focus  instead on the task at hand. It sounds so simple – but it is excellent advice and it works. When I  felt overwhelmed I would change the next diaper, put the next load of diapers in the washing machine (yes, I am old enough to have had three in CLOTH diapers at the same time), or make the next peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I found that it was not so much the difficulty of any one task that was overwhelming, but the sheer number of things that MUST be done. I found that instead of being paralyzed into doing nothing, I was able to gradually accomplish the most important tasks. In the workplace people prioritize, but with small children the “priority” task is not always the most important task. Sometimes reading a story FIRST will offer a child the attention they need and then afterward allow you to start supper without a screaming appendage attached to your leg.

It is part of life experience to be overwhelmed at times. In Psalms, David addresses God in desperation –

Psalm 61:1 – 2  “Hear my cry, O God; attend  unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” When David was overwhelmed, he cried out to God. I have done that often and will again in this journey as a mother. It is a blessing to know I am not alone with these feelings and that my heavenly Father hears my cry and answers. I had begun writing this post on July 4th, but the “next thing” for me that day was our 6 grandchildren, my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece, two daughters, two sons-in-law, a son and husband. So, a week went by without a post, not a big deal. Doing the next thing did NOT mean I finished everything, it did mean I finished some things and accomplished what was most important that day as a grandmother, mother, daughter, sister, and wife.

Then, I did the next thing.

I got a phone call yesterday, Sunday afternoon, from one of our daughters. It has become somewhat of a pattern to talk to each of our daughters on Sunday afternoon and I look forward to it, even though I often talk to them three or so other times each week. This daughter told me about taking the ferry to Seattle to visit a friend from DC days. My daughter told about riding the ferry BY HERSELF, taking a book and actually reading for 40 minutes uninterrupted! She then ate with this friend, BY THEMSELVES, visited for a while and then returned on the late ferry, BY HERSELF, with a chance to read once more. When telling me about this opportunity, she sounded a bit apologetic, as though she really shouldn’t have done it, or at least not enjoyed it so much. “Yes, you should enjoy it!” I told her. “How nice of your husband to facilitate your chance to meet your friend for dinner.”

I did not say, “You deserve a chance to get away.”, or “You’re at home with those three little boys all the time, it was your turn to get away.” It’s never our turn. A precious young lady shared that bit of wisdom at a bridal shower I attended Saturday as a bit of advice for the bride-to-be. It sounds so old-fashioned, out of date, doesn’t it? Yet it is the key to contentment.

What is in our child’s heart when they feel they have missed their turn? They fuss, cry, or throw a fit. What is in MY heart when I feel I have been overlooked or left out? I feel hurt, angry, spiteful, all ugly words that describe ugly feelings. When something special happens and I don’t expect it or feel it’s my due, I am  pleased, blessed, happy – all nice words that describe pleasant feelings.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 2: 3-8

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ⁵In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 ⁶ Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

Jesus is our example. If He humbled Himself, I must do likewise. I must not keep count and demand my turn. These verses say “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ”

That does not mean we never get a night out, or a special time with other adults. When possible, a date night is especially nice. Yet these should not be events that are dictated by “turns”, but by a humble attitude of service. Then the enjoyment is a blessing to ourselves and an honor to God.