Category Archives: Grandparenting

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Birthday Blessings

4 generations

Today is my mother’s birthday. She is 88 years old.

We have a grandson, Daniel, who is 5 and the first thing he asks someone after he meets them is “How old are you?” He will then analyze this newly acquired data. He looks very serious as he is pondering a person’s age.

I was thinking about the fact that in our culture, people are proud of their age when they are young, NOT so proud of their age during their middle-aged years, and then proud once again as they reach their 80’s and beyond.

Why is this?

  • children want to get older, be bigger, so each birthday is a milestone
  • our culture values youth, so a person in middle age may not want their age known
  • after 80, people are proud or thankful they have lived that long so their age is something to be pleased about

The women in my family live long lives. When I was in high school in the 1960’s I had three great-grandmothers living, each who were in their 90’s. My mother’s mother lived to be 95.

I knew each of these great-grandmothers and grandmothers except for my maternal grandmother’s mother who lived in Sweden. I never met her.

Of all the many wonderful qualities that my mother, my grandmothers, and my great-grandmothers had – their love for God and their faith in Jesus Christ is the quality that means the most to me. I knew the love they had for me came from the love they had received from the Lord.

What a legacy of faith!

Of all the many things my mother and grandmothers did for me – praying for me is of the utmost value. I am so thankful to have a mother that STILL prays for me.

Paul says to Timothy who he was discipling the faith – II Timothy 1:3-6 NLT

3 Timothy, I thank God for you—the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again.

5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. 6 This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you.

Paul mentions the spiritual heritage that Timothy had from his mother and grandmother.

This is the legacy we can leave as well – one of praying for our children and grandchildren. I am so thankful for my praying grandmothers.

Thank you , Mom, for continuing to pray for me even as you reach your 88th year.

This is the legacy I want to leave my children and grandchildren – one of faith and prayer.

My friend Janice recently gave me the book Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. It shares the powerful impact that serious, specific, and strategic prayer can have.

May we build a legacy of faith.

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The Right Time

Gandalf 2

“He is NOT cute any more!”

Now wait a minute…..

this is my grandson you are talking about…..

…the one who dresses up as Gandolf, Batman, and Bob the Minion (my personal favorite)

Our daughter called to tell me our three-year-old grandson was no longer cute. He had expended all his allotted “cuteness quotient” and his behavior was no longer entertaining.

It was annoying.

His time had come.

He would now be held accountable for his behavior.

My friend, Alice Marie and I were talking about this and she mentioned that her little sister used to get her in trouble on purpose when they were young. Their father would threaten to spank Alice Marie if her little sister cried. It had to be Alice Marie’s fault since she was the oldest and knew better, right?

Her little sister would say “Me gonna scream, Daddy spank YOU!” when she wanted to have her own way.

Evidently, I did something similar to my older brother. I had polio when I was two years old. After being treated in isolation  and released from the hospital, I was weak and had to have physical therapy to regain strength and function in my muscles. It was a difficult time for our family, and I must have started to take advantage of all the attention.

My mother asked the doctor how long I should be coddled and favored. The doctor told mother that each child was different, but that she would know when to return to treating me normally.

A few days later, mother said she came down the stairs to hear me say to my older brother – “You have to give me that toy because I had polio, you know!”

The time had come.

I was no longer the sick child who needed extra attention.

I was held accountable for my actions. Polio was no longer an excuse for bad behavior.

It is natural for us as parents and grandparents to require more from the older children and spoil the younger ones.

This is not fair, nor is it healthy for any of the children. I need to guard against giving in just because they are “cute”.

I remember Jay Fesperman teaching us as new parents – “What is cute at 5 years old is NOT cute at 15 years old. When do you want to deal with it? When your child is 5 or 15?”

Such words of wisdom.

There is a right time to hold our children accountable for their behavior and allow them to suffer the consequences when they disobey. They don’t finish their supper – they don’t get dessert, or snacks after supper. They throw their toys inside the house – those toys are put away for a week.

If one of our children is suffering, we are especially vulnerable to giving in to them. Sometimes they know this and take advantage of our weakness. But we are sending a very wrong message when we do that which is – “Just act hurt and you won’t have to obey, or follow through, or clean up. etc.”

We want to be sensitive to the right time to offer extra help or give our children grace for messing up. Doesn’t our Heavenly Father do that for us?

We need God’s wisdom to know when the “right time” occurs to hold our children accountable.

James 1:5 (ESV)

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

We must utilize this wonderful promise from God’s Word!

I need to pray for wisdom from God each and every day as I parent and grandparent.

God will show us the right time.

God is faithful.

 

 

 

 

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Roots

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“You got to take care of the roots. If they die, then you ain’t got nothin’ left at all.”

A wise mountain man shared that advice with me when he gave me a small seedling to transplant.

This is important advice for all plants, but especially young plants and those susceptible to cold temperatures. Phil and I have gathered pine needles for years from parking lots around Jackson County and we mulch heavily, especially around our azaleas and camilias.

The roots are the foundation of a plant, as well as the vehicle for dispersing water from the ground to the stems, leaves, flowers, and fruit of a plant. Roots are not usually seen, but they are of utmost importance to the health and well-being of a plant.

As people, we need roots.

We need a foundation of beliefs and truth that will anchor us when we face times of “strong winds” or “flood waters.”

As parents, we need to make sure we lay a strong foundation for our children to build their lives upon. We cannot protect our children from the storms of life, but we can help insure that they will be able to weather these storms by being rooted in truth.

Jesus taught us how important good roots are or a firm foundation is in –

Luke 6:47-49  (NLT)

47 I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. 48 It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. 49 But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.”

How do we help our children lay a firm foundation?

Just like with tender plants we;

  • put a little fence around to guard new plants
  • water regularly so the roots grow deep and don’t stay on the surface
  • mulch around to protect the roots
  • fertilize to ensure growth

As parents we;

  • set boundries for use of the Internet, limit TV and videos
  • take our children to church and Sunday School so they hear Biblical truth
  • talk about God and trusting Him to our children so they know they can trust God
  • pray with our children and be honest that we need God’s strength just like our children do

My prayer for our children and grandchildren is right from the Bible – Colossians 2:7 (TLB)

7 Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him. See that you go on growing in the Lord, and become strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with joy and thanksgiving for all He has done.

God is faithful.