Category Archives: Grandparenting

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Kid Friendly Homes

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“I want our house to be the house where our children’s friends want to hang out.”

I can remember saying that when our children were young. Yet to be that kind of house doesn’t just happen when our children become teenagers.

Oh, no. It starts way before that – when our children are around 5 or six years old. We set the tone early on and it lives on throughout our child’s teenage years, even into adulthood. Is our home a friendly, nurturing place? Do children feel welcome? Do we ask them about themselves and LISTEN when they answer?

Since we wanted a kid friendly home, it meant that I had to tolerate mess, noise, and consumption of large amounts of food. (of course that was normal life when just our four were home) Now looking back I can honestly say I really did enjoy having our children’s friends over. I got to know them as indiviudals and observed how our children acted around their friends.

I am NOT a perfectionist when it comes to house cleaning.

OK, I am not CLOSE to a perfectionist – I dust once a month whether it needs it or not! At one point in time when our children were young, the bathtub in our upstairs bathroom didn’t work. When I cleaned upstairs I would put all the random items in the bathtub and pull the shower curtain shut.
“Out of sight, out of mind.” (I know some of you are cringing right now!)

Yet I enjoy having people over and have always felt that people are more important than my house. I have great memories of our children’s friends playing with the Fisher-Price toys, or making baseball diamonds in the field behind our house. That was before they paved paradise and put in a parking lot.

To ensure that our homes are kid friendly means that we must plan ahead. A few helpful guidelines will make it a pleasant experience for all:
* Put the valuable breakables on high shelves or out of sight.
* It is ok to have places in our homes that are off limits like dad’s office, a sewing room, or
anywhere that children could hurt themselves or others.
* Clearly communicate “house rules” – such as – no hitting, no calling names, taking turns, etc.
* Supervise at all times – know where all children are and keep yourself engaged with them.
* If children are using media, know what it is – or turn it off!
* Play outside whenever possible – less mess to clean up!
* If conflicts break out (should I say when?) redirect. Read a story or play a group game.
* Smile and laugh with the children! Have fun. Your own children will be blessed.

Jesus went out of His way to welcome children.

Mark 9:36-38 (NLT)

36 Then he put a little child among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.”

When we welcome our children’s friends into our homes, we are welcoming Jesus!

That is the way God wants us to see it. Hopefully our children’s friends will see Jesus in us.

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Seasons of Change

Adah and leaves

Fall is in the air!

There is excitement because of the changing weather, the changing leaves, a changing wardrobe, even changes in the food we eat. I don’t make chili in the summer, it just doesn’t seem appetitzing to me -but I love it on a cold day!

Those of you with young children face many changes as well such as:
* It gets dark earlier – bed times may change.
* You switch out the clothes, usually getting out bigger sizes of sweaters and sweatshirts.
* Wash loads are bigger – jeans and sweaters take up more space than shorts/t-shirts.
* Leaf piles to play in instead of slip and slides.
* Kites are fun to get out when it’s windy, put away the kiddy pool!
* Runny noses 😦
* Rosey cheeks 🙂

I like the seasonal changes. It is a blessing to see the world change around us, totally beyond our control. God demonstrates His order of things through seasons. Folks who live in tropical climates after living in the more temperate zones often miss the changing seasons. Our daughter who lived in Hawaii said that she really missed fall each year. (poor baby!!!!!)

The changing seasons are a reminder of God’s order that He established in creation.

Genesis 1:14-18 says –

14 Then God said, “Let lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. Let them be signs to mark the seasons, days, and years. 15 Let these lights in the sky shine down on the earth.” And that is what happened. 16 God made two great lights—the larger one to govern the day, and the smaller one to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set these lights in the sky to light the earth, 18 to govern the day and night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.
The order God established during Creation reminds us of His faithfulness. We do not live in a random universe, but instead changes happen in sequence and patterns demonstrate God’s divine plan.

There are seasons in our lives as mothers.

Once a baby is born, we become a mother. We will always be mothers even when our children die before we do. Those precious lives may no longer be here with us on earth, but they live on in our hearts!

Our roles change as mothers – but the fact of being a mother does not. Some aspects of active mothering are easy to give up:
* changing diapers
* cleaning up throw up
* waking to crying in the middle of the night

Other roles we fill in active mothering are greatly missed:
* reading bedtime stories
* braiding a daughter’s hair
* saying nighttime prayers together
* cuddling together on a chilly evening

As grandparents our roles will change. Pop and Nana used to be the “big deal”. Now as we leave the homes of our grandchildren there is no crying, sometimes just a “see ya!” as they are busy playing.
That is just as it should be because as our grandchildren age, they realize we will return – our leaving is not forever.

There are seasons in our spiritual lives as well. There are seasons when God wants us to learn to trust as we go through difficult times. There are seasons we must trust because things are going well and we KNOW it is not because we deserve it.

There are seasons when our children are suffering and we wonder when a change will come.

No matter the season or the changes we face in life – God is faithful.

Paul wrote this to encourage the Christians in Phillipi.

Phillipians 4:10-15

10 How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me. 11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. 14 Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.Seasons will change – God is always faithful!

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Where is Your Treasure?

Nana singing to twins

The idea of finding hidden treasure is something that has always captivated the imagination of people. Think of finding a Honus Wagner baseball card in perfect condition in an old cigar box in the attic!

Treasure hunts are exciting. Find a map with an “X” and all you have to do is follow the clues and dig up the treasure. Unless of course the map is a fake or someone else found the treasure before you. Phil and I like yard sales and flea markets. I like to think of these excursions we take as “treasure hunts” although our sons-in-law have discovered the truth – we are Christmas shopping.

Soon after moving into our current home, Phil was repairing a floor in the barn and came across a cardboard box. I got all excited thinking it might be something buried that belonged to someone from the Great Depression Era when they didn’t want to put money or valuables in a bank. It turned out that the box had glass coffee mugs in it. We washed that “treasure” up and use those mugs each time we have company. They probably originally cost about $1.00 each.

At the beach this summer, I drew a map and buried some treasure in the sand on the beach. Our grandsons followed the map and dug up the treasure – packs of gummy bears!

Treasure holds fascination for us no matter what age we are. Jesus used the idea of treasure in several of the parables He taught.

Matthew 13:44-45

44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
What is of such great value that these men sold ALL THEY HAD to purchase the treasure or the pearl?

The Kingdom of Heaven.

Knowing Jesus as Savior and Lord, allowing Him to reign in our lives is of immeasurable worth. The Kingdom of Heaven is that place where Jesus rules. That place needs to be our lives.

Our children and grandchildren are fascinated with finding treasure. Are we doing all we can to help them see what REAL treasure is?

Matthew 6:20-22 (NIV)

20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.Whatever we value most is our treasure. As parents and grandparents we should examine our hearts – ask ourselves – what DO we value most? If we see that we value a house, a career, education, or material things the most, that is our treasure. If so, our treasure is not of eternal value.

We only have to look at where we invest our time and resources – that is the true test of what we value, what we treasure.

I am blessed by the fact that the parts of the Church our daughters fellowship with puts a high priority on ministering to children. Their pastor recently preached “…”imagine the difference we can make in the next genreation if this one class of Confirmands (one of which is our eldest grandaughter) is taught the Bible, the ways of Jesus, and the lessons of faith learned by those who have preceded us.” (Pastor, Bob Thompson)

Another daughter has helped begin a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group where they fellowship. The previous location closed it’s doors to this group of young mothers and children so our daughter’s part of the Church has taken them in. I was so blessed to hear that.

Jesus taught that children are precious in God’s eyes. In fact, we must become like children to enter His kingdom!

So – where is our treasure? Is it our children and grandchildren? Do we value them enough to invest our lives and our resources in their growth as followers of Jesus?

That has eternal value.