Category Archives: Grandparenting

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First Love

Nana singing to twins

As mothers we love to record “firsts”. First smile, first steps, first words, first teeth, first haircut, first fit in the grocery store…well maybe NOT that first. The list could go on and on. We cherish these moments that denote milestones in the development of our children.

Our pastor read from Revelation 2:4 yesterday about a “first”. This is a sobering message from Jesus Christ to the church in Ephesus.
Revelation 2:1-4 (NKJV)

2 “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.
4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Jesus lists several things that these early Christians are doing well. He is pleased that they are laboring hard for His kingdom, demonstrating patience, they hate evil, etc.

BUT – those things are not enough. Jesus says that in spite of all these great things, they have lost their first love.
Jesus tells us the first commandment in Mark 12:29-31 (NKJV)

29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.

Obviously this first love is very important.

I started to think about the first time I felt God’s love for me. I was a very young child, singing the first sing I ever learned – “Jesus Loves Me.”
It was while singing that song I sensed what I now know was the Holy Spirit. He was filling me with a sense of God’s love for me that I was able to understand even at that young age.

I thought about the times I have sung that song with our children and now our grandchildren. I am so blessed that “Jesus Loves Me” is the first song I ever learned and the first song I have sung with our grandchildren. This simple song is profound in the truth it conveys. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong.”

There have been times in my life when I have allowed other things, even very good things, like my husband and my children to take first place in my life.

When I do that, I open myself up to stress, fear, worry – all the things that are the opposite of God’s presence and the fruit of His Spirit.

I want to keep Jesus as my first love and be an example to my children and grandchildren of one who loves the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. I must never leave my first love.

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Hanging In….

What is he eating?!

What is he eating?!

I was talking to one of our daughters on Saturday and I sensed a note of tiredness in her voice. I asked if she was feeling ok and she said she was … but there was not the tone of conviction I am used to hearing in her voice. My “mom’s antennae” went up. I asked a few annoying but probing questions and it finally came out. She was tired of correcting her children’s behavior.
“It’s just constant, Mom. I find myself saying the same things over and over. I get so tired of it”
Oh, how well I remember! It has been 30 years, yet I can still remember feeling exhausted – wondering if my repeated corrections and instructions were making any difference at all. It seemed at times that my words went in one little ear and out the other. It WAS tiring.
I had a friend named Marty who numbered her “lectures” – those words mothers repeat over and over.
• Number 1 – “pick up your toys, quit leaving them around to get stepped on and broken.”
• Number 2 – “hang up your wet towel after a bath so that it will dry and not leave wet, moldy stains on the floor.”
• Number 3 – “Talk nicely to your sister, someday she will be your best friend.”
“It’s so easy, Gayle. I just say “Number 1 – they know to start picking up their toys.” Marty assured me.
“What happens if you forget the number for a lecture?” I asked.
“Well,” Marty started laughing. “I have forgotten a few times and then my daughters give me a lecture about remembering the correct numbers to the lectures. It has helped them remember their responsibilities, if just to keep me on my toes.”
I couldn’t help laughing. This may work for Marty but it was not my style.
As parents we do repeat instructions and corrections over and over. We all learn through repetition, but it is especially true of young children. Some children need more repetition then others – they have a nature that tests the boundaries and their parents.
It is important not to give up or give in when we become tired of parenting. Training our children is our responsibility as parents whether we are tired or not. IT WILL PAY OFF!
I remember being so tired – wanting to just quit and let my children fuss or watch TV all afternoon. At these low times, God’s Word encouraged me with two important truths:
1. In my weakness – God is made strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2. When I hang in – God is faithful. Galatians 6:9-10
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

So, hang in….keep on parenting!

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Kindness

P1020396

I was reminded yesterday during the Sunday School class I attended with two of our daughters and their husbands that God demonstrates kindness to us daily. It is easy to focus on the judgement of God and the often devastating results of the sin that we see all around us in our world. Yet if we are honest, we must admit that God shows patience and love to us even when we don’t deserve it. The Sunday School class is studying Romans and Paul wrote this letter because the Jewish Christians were requiring new Gentile Christians to be circumcised. Paul begins telling these Roman Christians that they do not have a right to judge and are actually condemning themselves when they judge others. (Romans 2:1)

Romans 2:4 is a verse that jumps out at me each time I read it and one that we as Christian mothers and grandmothers need to take to heart.

Romans 2:1-5 (NIV)

2 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.  Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

God’s kindness is what leads us to repentance. How can we apply this to our interactions with our children in a way that will lead them to repent – not to us – but to their Heavenly Father? When the woman broke the bottle of perfume on Jesus’s feet and washed His feet with her hair – it wasn’t because he had shouted at her and told her that being a prostitute was sinful. Her repentance came because she felt God’s love through His son Jesus. Jesus didn’t have to say, “Now you know how bad being a prostitute is… it is sinful….” No – that woman knew she was full of sin. She also knew Jesus would forgive her and cleanse her heart.

Mothers of small children have the important task of teaching their children right from wrong. Lying is not just a bad choice – it is wrong. As our children become older and begin to make choices based on what they have learned about right and wrong, parents must then help children become sensitive to their conscience – the voice of the Holy Spirit in choosing behavior that is right. We parents will not always be with our children and it is important that children learn to respond to God’s leading at an early age.

I remember one of our daughters coming in to us crying because she had lied to us and felt very convicted. We had no idea she had lied to us. We were so thankful her heart was tender toward God. She still suffered the consequences of her lie, but we showed love and acceptance of her desire to repent. Doesn’t God do that to us? God does NOT beat us over the head with our past sins – in fact He buries them as far as the East is from the West.

Let’s be agents of God’s loving kindness to our children just the way our Heavenly Father shows kindness to us.