Category Archives: In My Garden with God

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Watch for Snakes in the Garden

I was weeding at our daughter’s home in Maryland last week and something moved just where I had pulled up a bunch of weeds. I looked closer and it was a small snake – the one pictured above. It was only about 8 inches long but I soon realized it was a copperhead because of the pattern and the shape of the head. I am not generally afraid of snakes, yet when I recognized that it was a poisonous snake my first reaction was thankfulness that I had not grabbed it.

Look how camouflaged the snake is among the dead leaves! I weed a lot and I rarely stop to think about snakes in the grass or garden. I am always on high alert for poison ivy because I am highly allergic and dislike the rash and blisters that form. Snakes are a different story. They move, seeming to appear out of nowhere when we are unaware. A fellow teacher once stepped on a copperhead that had evidently been sunning itself on her doorstep. It bit her and she ended up in the hospital for two weeks. Poisonous snakes must be taken seriously.

Temptation to sin is like that in our lives. When we notice it – like poison ivy – we can avoid it. If we aren’t expecting it – like a snake in the garden – it can overwhelm us before we realize what has happened. I can be tempted to envy what someone has that I don’t have. Knowing this I need to avoid comparing my belongings to someone else’s. Instead of coveting their possessions, I must cultivate an attitude of gratitude for what I possess and rejoice that others are blessed. It is hard to envy someone and be thankful that God has blessed them at the same time.

I Corinthians 10:13 says –

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

If I spend hours scrolling on Pinterest it will usually cause me to covet or envy. God has provided a way out – turn it off. Just as I avoid places where snakes like to slither, I must recognize and avoid places of temptation. A grateful, thankful heart is the best protection for envy and covetousness. I need to cultivate those qualities in my heart.

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Neglect

Fall is the time of the year when it becomes very apparent which parts of our yard I have neglected tending. I always post lovely pictures of the flowers and plants that grace our property and as I am writing this post I must ask myself – do I really want to show that ugly – but real – side of our yard?

The very issues that cause weeds to flourish in the garden are the same issues that cause me to neglect my spiritual life, my important relationships, my marriage. So, here they are:

  • time
  • responsibilities
  • tasks of every day living
  • desire, lack of motivation
  • distractions

Phil and I attended a Marriage Seminar this past weekend at the Inn of Last Resort in Franklin, North Carolina. We first attended this same seminar in 1977 when I was pregnant with our first child, Benjamin. There were different speakers, Jay and Sally Fesperman led that first Marriage and Parenting seminar. This is a link to what I wrote about that seminar in 2012. https://ourfathersdaughters.com/2012/09/17/open-honest-conflict/

This time, Larry and Susan Pons and Seth and Alicia Williams shared. We needed a “tune up” and I am thankful we attended. My main “take-away” this time was that I realized how easy it is to fall into DUTY the longer we are married and neglect INTIMACY which makes our marriages the way God intended them to be – TWO BECOME ONE. When Phil and I were first married it was a pleasure to fix a meal, set a lovely table with our new wedding gifts of Pfaltzgraff stoneware (still using them after 47 years) , placemats, matching napkins and pewter candlesticks. Truth be told, my table settings were MUCH more impressive than my first meals as a young wife. With friend’s guidance my cooking has improved over the years.

Now I only set a lovely table for family visits and dinners with friends. Phil and I often sit on the porch to eat, weather permitting, and serve ourselves from the stove and counter top. Fixing meals has become a duty for me instead of an expression of service and intimacy. Phil says he doesn’t mind and really could care less about how the table looks. Yet I know the lack of care that goes into meal preparation. He does care about how the food tastes!

I remember one of my parent’s friends saying that after 50 years of marriage all his wife “ever made now were reservations”. She had been an outstanding cook throughout their marriage. We all chuckled at his joke knowing how easy it is over time to slip into duty and lose the heartfelt intimacy of serving one another in love.

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:13-14

Indulging the flesh can be as simple as playing a game on a device, mindlessly scrolling social media, switching on the TV just to fill time instead of being intentional and serving one another in love.

Just as fall becomes a season to tend the neglected parts of my yard, the Marriage Seminar has challenged me to recommit to intimacy in our marriage and not settle for duty.

Now where did I put those linen napkins……?

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Harvesting and Scheduling…?

I was talking with my long-time friend Carol about the work of preserving food from our gardens. We both love fresh vegetables, I mean what is better than a vine ripened tomato sandwich?! Each of our husbands have worked hard in their gardens and we certainly want to honor their efforts by preserving as much food as possible.

Yet, you can’t schedule when the harvest is ripe and ready to gather. Once it is picked, it must be canned, frozen, shared, and/or eaten before it spoils. That means we wash green beans, snap, prepare jars and begin the canning process no matter what else we may have on our “schedules”.

Carol and I were discussing the reality of dropping everything WE had planned to do so that we could process the fruits of our husbands’ labor. I must admit that my attitude is somewhat different this year because last year I put up very little from our garden. Between ground hogs, racoons, lack of rain, and travel, our garden suffered. This year the harvest has been plentiful! We have been able to share fresh vegetables with family and friends and I have –

  • canned beans
  • frozen tomatoes for winter soup
  • made tomato sauce
  • prepared squash and onions to freeze for cassoroles and soup
  • made dill pickles (Phil made bread and butter pickles)
  • made raspberry jam (thank you Carol for the lesson)
  • frozen blueberries for winter desserts

So our “schedule” goes out the window to do what must be done. Fresh vegetables and fruit don’t wait.

As Carol said – you do what you have to do.

Isn’t this true of all aspects of our lives? We plan with good intentions but “life happens”. Loved ones become ill. Grandchildren need our care. We worship and fellowship. We volunteer and serve others. We attend family events and sport activities. All the while tending to the tasks of everyday life. We plan so we can accommodate all these parts of our lives.

James, the elder disciple and apostle of Jesus wrote in James 4:13-15 –

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Our attitude must be one of seeking God’s will and accepting the circumstances and changes in our lives with grace. James is not saying that we shouldn’t plan ahead. He says “we will live and do this or that” yet “If it is the Lord’s will.” Recognizing that all those fresh vegetables are a BLESSING – not just more work.

That requires an adjustment to my attitude. Plan ahead, but see life’s everyday occurrences as opportunities to accept God’s will. Elizabeth Elliot said “In acceptance lays peace.”

Lord, may I recognize that my days – and schedule – are in your hands. Not my will but yours be done.

Amen