Category Archives: Parenting

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My Father’s Daughter

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“I’ve walked with God my whole life, I’m ready to go be with Him.”

These were the words my father spoke when the oncologist asked Dad if he knew what he was facing.

Three days later, my father passed on into the presence of the Lord. It seemed to go so fast for us, his loved ones. Dad died on February 10th and at Christmas, just two months before, he had been his vigorous self. He was turning wooden bowls, playing ping-pong, checking his plants in the hallway sunroom.

He was 91.

Dad walked with God.

I miss him most when I walk around our yard now. His handiwork is everywhere. The calla lilies Dad planted are blooming in their pure white glory. The butterfly weeds he started from seeds have spread and are full of orange tipped butterflies, just like the blooms.

“Gayle, you have to come see this.”

“Dad, you’ve got to come see THIS!”

“We must go get your Mother.”

These were the conversations we would have beginning in spring and continuing until a hard frost. We would walk around the yard, weed, deadhead, and glory in the beauty and handiwork of God’s creation.

Dad and Mom would count the number of different kinds of flowers in bloom at one time. He so enjoyed the variety and unique qualities of the various species.

I miss Dad.

Yet, I am left with wonderful memories and so many beautiful plants.

My father also left me with His greatest influence on my life – his love for his Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Dad quietly, yet openly, lived as a Christian.

He loved God.

He loved his family.

He loved others.

He loved God’s creation and was a steward of all living things.

As I tend the flowers, I am reminded of the lessons Dad taught me about life –  botanic life, and more importantly, life everlasting.

I am my father’s daughter and I am so blessed that Dad led me to follow Jesus, just as he did.

May we leave this same legacy for our children and grandchildren.

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Final Exams, Testing

BEST way to learn....

BEST way to learn….

It is that time of year.

Oh, how well I remember trying to cram my brain full of as much information as I could before a test. I was NOT like my older brother who studied all semester and enjoyed testing. It was a chance for him to see just how much he had learned – and it was always a LOT. He gathered information and retained it piece by piece like sponge.

Waiting until right before the test was not a good strategy. I know! I would always get painfully stiff necks – a result of the stress I denied I was in. I always went to class – that should be an advantage, shouldn’t it?

Actually learning something is not the same as being in the room when information is shared or lessons taught. Some of us learn best by doing something. I am that way. That is probably the main reason I gravitated toward art and eventually majored in visual arts. Those classes involved making things, creating.

Our children and grandchildren learn in different ways. Of our four children, two were very good at taking tests, the other two did fine, yet the test results did not usually reflect their ability or knowledge in that particular subject. Our child who struggled the most with testing ended up with outstanding grades in college earning a degree in a difficult major, being inducted into an honor society in that major.

We must make sure that we do NOT judge our children by their test results. Intellectually, we know that a test is only one measure or knowledge or ability, and often an incomplete measure at that.

As Christians, we also know that God is desiring “fruit” to be produced, not stellar test grades. Good grades may result as the evidence of some fruit –

  • fruit of faithfulness – studying on a regular basis
  • fruit of self-control – finishing assignments before playing
  • fruit of patience – a willingness to work through hard problems or assignments, not giving up
  • fruit of love – comes from a love of learning
  • fruit of joy – the sense of accomplishment from doing YOUR best

James 1:11-12 says

11 The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.

12 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

What remains of value in our lives are not the test results and achievements. What remains is the fruit that God produces in our lives through His Holy Spirit.

As our children and grandchildren face testing or competitions of any kind, we must help them face these challenges with a Godly perspective. We must be sure that we focus on what matters most.

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Time for Work, Time for Play

Hard at Work

Time for Work

We had three of our grandsons spend two nights with us this past week.

NO parents!

We had a great time and I tried not to spoil them TOO much. We always have our grandchildren do “jobs” when they stay with us, before they get to play.

It has worked so far…they keep coming back.

Their job this time was picking up weeds after I pulled the weeds up. (I pull the weeds because I want the flowers to remain.) They did it very well and then they got to play.

We have a very small creek (it should really be refered to as a “branch”) that is overflow from our spring. It is a boy magnet! After their job, they love playing in the water which is not very deep, but it is wet and muddy. Just right for young boys. They also rode bikes, played baseball, and ran around on the old logging trails that criscross through the woods.

We are so blessed to have a place where our grandchildren can play. But it is also important that they know how to work. Their parents all require them to do certain chores at home. Yet we also want them to realize that work is important, even when away from home.

If we don’t require our children to help with chores, we send a very dangerous message – “someone ELSE will do it for you.”

We required our own children to weed a row in the garden before we went swimming in the summer. They did not always like it – but it helped them learn the importance of work.

(Is this why none of them raise their own gardens now?)

It is important to balance work with play. Some helpful ideas are –

  • work first, then play….that way children won’t be “too tired” to work, or it may get dark
  • make sure the job fits the age of the child…. painting the house may be too much for a 5 year old
  • work along with the children…..don’t send them off to do it alone
  • don’t give them a job to do you wouldn’t do yourself….there are child labor laws in the USA
  • brag on their positive efforts…..encourage follow through until the job is complete
  • take pictures of them working…..just like you take pictures of their play
  • celebrate the end result!

Ephesians 6:6-8 (NLT)

6 Try to please them (your master/boss/parents) all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. 7 Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 8 Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free.

Our grandsons were very proud of the work they did and we were pleased that they genuinely helped us. Helping our children and grandchildren learn the satisfaction of a job well done is a blessing that will benefit them their whole lives.

Time for Play

Time for Play