Category Archives: Parenting

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No Answers

Caleb

“They have asked me EVERY few minutes ‘when will we go to Nana and Pop’s?’ It is driving me CRAZY. Next time, I will tell them we are going to Nana’s when we get in the car to leave.”

Our daughter was venting about how frustrating it is to have children impatiently look forward to something. Questions abound:
* Is it time yet?
* When are we going?
* How much longer ’til we leave?
And then they start repeating the questions. Endlessly.

It is hard for little ones to focus on today when they are looking forward to tomorrow.

Wait.

Did I just write “little ones”?

It is so true of ME. Someone asked me today if I was counting down the days until the end of school – I replied “No – I have too much to finish before the end.” If I start counting down – I will lose my focus on the tasks at hand.

We are so like children, aren’t we?

When one of my high school art students asks me what we are doing for our next project – I can be fairly certain that they have lost interest in what they are currently working on. The students who are fully engaged in their art work are not thinking about what they will do next – they are focused on the project at hand.

This applies to us spiritually as well. We often ask God things like –

* What will I do when my children go to school?
* What will I do when my children leave home?
* How will I ever handle…?
* What will I do when I retire?

We should be asking – “What do I do now?”

In Acts 1:6-7 the apostles are asking Jesus questions –

6 So when the apostles were with Jesus, they kept asking him, “Lord, has the time come for you to free Israel and restore our kingdom?”

7 He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know.

Notice it says – “they kept asking Jesus”. Jesus told them – “they are not for you to know.”

Why didn’t Jesus tell them what His Father had planned?

Could it be that the disciples would focus on the future instead of the present if they knew what was going to happen? Jesus wanted them to be faithful to their current ministry. I know I probably would have done the same. I might even think I could “fix” the future – you know, make it better.

God does not reveal everything to us. He has His reasons. Just as parents know when to withhold information, God knows what we can handle – and when we can handle it.

In the meantime, we must learn to walk by faith.

“No answer” does not mean that God isn’t present in our current situation or in control.

God may not answer so that we walk by faith, not by sight.

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Inside Out

Adahlyn in barn

You can often tell early, even from their toddler days, if a child is going to care about what they wear, or if clothes are just an afterthought.

Our son often put his clothes on backwards and only cared about what he put on if it had a logo or name of a sports team he favored. He is still pretty much that way, although I haven’t noticed that his clothes are ever on backwards. What he wears is still not a priority.

Our middle daughter cared about the color and style of her clothing as soon as she was able to see -in other words – right from birth. She would remove any clothing that did not meet her approval, which often delayed our departure for the library, church, pretty much anywhere we went. She would cry if her tights were wrinkled and if her socks didn’t match her outfit. Now she has her own style and always looks “well put together”. I haven’t heard her cry about clothes in years.

Clothes don’t make a person, but they certainly convey information about personality and prefrences. My mother let me pick out my clothes and I developed a taste for bright colors and “interesting” fabrics at an early age. (Need I say that our third daughter does NOT want me to pick out her clothes?)

In college – as an art major – my dress was considered…well..different. But artists have always dressed “differently”, ok, oddly. To compound matters, it was the early 1970’s and young people who WEREN’T art majors dressed expressively. I made long dresses out of bedspreads from India, patched my jeans with scraps of calico prints, wore tie dye when you had to make it yourself, and wore blue suede boots. I did not look as cool as I thought I did.

The Bible tells us that what we wear on the outside is not as important as what is on the inside.

1 Peter 3:3-5 (NLT)

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.

I think it is good to allow our children to wear what they want at times, yet let them know that there are other times they must wear certain things. Just as baseball players wear uniforms that identify them with their team, certain situations call for certain attire.

We also want our children to know that MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than the clothes they wear is the condition of their hearts – what’s inside. When conversations about clothes come up – use it as an opportunity to talk to them about the fact that what is in their hearts will show on their faces and in their words. If there is selfishness and impatience in our hearts – it will come out in our facial expressions and what we say.

Our challenge is to let God change us from the inside out.

Then it really doesn’t matter what we wear.

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No Vacations for Brains

Reading the "Hobbit" at six months.

Reading the Hobbit at six months.

We have competitive children. I thought this “one-ups-man-ship” would end when they finished school and college sports, etc.

Oh, no. As soon as our first grandchild was born, our son started questioning what books her mother was reading to his niece and how often.

“I read War and Peace in kindergarten.” he said to his sister.

Soon after, this young mother e-mailed the above picture showing her six-month-old reading the Hobbit.

This has all been in fun, yet reading to our children and grandchildren is the single MOST important activity we can engage in to encourage healthy brain development. Recent research with brain imaging shows that brain activity of infants greatly increases when they hear live language spoken to them. This same brain activity does not appear when these same infants hear voices from electronic devices like televisions or computers, including recordings of the parents’ own voices.

What better way to share our live voices than to read to our little ones!

As our children grew older and started to read themselves, they still wanted us to read aloud. We went through The Little House sseries, The Tower of Gehbora trilogy, The Lord of the Rings after the Hobbit, and The Narnia Chronicles to name a few. Those times of family reading are special memories.

In Deuteronomy, God is giving the law to his people. He is encouraging them to share his words with their children.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7(NIV)

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Don’t let our children’s brains go on vacation this summer!

Plan to read to them each day if possible. There are many great series to choose from – and include Bible stories as well. Most public libraries have summer reading programs that encourage children to read and be read to.

After you read together – talk about what you read. Verse 7 gives some practical advice about when to do this:
* when you sit at home – meals
* when you walk along the road – or drive
* when you lie down – for nap or bedtime
* when you get up – morning devotions

So as summer is fast approaching – lets make sure that there are no vacations for brains!

The Media Specialist (Librarian) at my school recently shared this link to an article that shares some insightful information on the importance of reading. Please check this out – you will be inspired!http://nyti.ms/1gwXt6m