Category Archives: Parenting

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Falling

God’s Color Study

I tried to capture a photo of leaves falling yesterday afternoon while hiking the Horace Kephart trail in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It was an absolutely beautiful afternoon. Phil pointed out to me that leaves were floating down all around us. I was so focused on the color of the leaves on the trees and on the ground, I hadn’t noticed those falling. It was delightful to watch the floating descent of the leaves, but my little camera wasn’t up to the challenge of recording their fall.

Fall is a great time to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. The color yesterday defies description; I even took a photograph that I plan to call “God’s Color Study”, even though the picture doesn’t do justice to the vibrancy of the actual color. The sky was intense blue; the leaves were an array of red, orange, yellow, brown, and leftover green. It was truly a feast for the eyes.

Yet, under the carpet of fallen leaves, there were rocks and small ditches carved by the recent rain storms. These were hidden by the leaves, but a concern while hiking. I was so distracted by the autumn display that I slipped and stumbled several times before I realized I needed to pay attention to where I was going.

Isn’t that true of life? I am the queen of distraction. This is a big concern as a parent and now as a grandparent. I am easily distracted – and often by good things. Natural beauty has always fascinated me, and as an artist that serves me well. Yet, our children will tell you of the many times I missed a turn on our way home, because of a beautiful tree, a lovely bird, or a particularly blue hydrangea. For the sake of the safety of our children and now grandchildren, I must focus on where I am going.

As a Christian, I need to PAY attention to my walk with God, and NOT get distracted by things, even good things that could cause me to fall. Some of the things that can distract me and cause me to “fall” as a mother are:

  • Being more concerned about how my children LOOK than how they feel
  • Caring more about what my friends think than what my Heavenly Father wants
  • Putting my children to bed without devotions/prayer because a TV show is starting
  • Attending to needs of others before the needs of my family
  • Allowing “devices” to control my time
  • Putting weeding the flower beds before cooking meals (anyone else have this issue?)

Thankfully, Our Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and His desire is to keep us from falling.

Jude 1:24-28 (KJV)

24 Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,

25 To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

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Cracked Pots

It has been one of those weeks where I have been hit with the same message from three different sources. You think I better pay attention?!!

#1      My Honors Art III class is working on pottery. They are making ceramic pots and learning the properties and limitations of clay. I tell them clay is very forgiving, you can mold, re-mold, and even crush it and start all over again. Yet once you commit to a shape or design, you must follow certain rules to ensure successful completion of your project. Last week two students didn’t follow the “rule of thumb”. This rule states that no part of the form can be thicker than your thumb without providing a vent to let trapped air escape. Two students added clay to their pottery while forming and created areas that were thicker than their thumbs. Both of these pots blew up in the kiln while firing. These two students had been very successful making pottery that has been entered in several art shows, yet they had become a bit complacent and thought they knew what they were doing. Message for me – God is very patient, forgiving, and gentle. Yet at some point I am held accountable for following His Word. Past accomplishments aside – I must walk with God faithfully each day so I don’t become a “cracked pot.” 

#2       We attended a Sunday service with our two daughters and their families yesterday. There was a potter’s wheel in the foyer of the church building as we entered, with a bisque fired (first firing) pot from which part of the bottom was blown off.  The pastor preached from Jeremiah 18:1-12  on “In the Potter’s Hand”. The part of his message which spoke to me was in verses 1-4.

18:1  This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 2 “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” 3 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Pastor Thompson stated that God is the potter, we are the clay. He shared something I teach my students  – 75% of successful pottery is in the preparation of the clay. Message for me – God is at work forming me  – and every time I resist His effort, I make it harder on myself because God has to “re-shape and re-mold” me. Otherwise I will be a cracked pot.

# 3   The calligraphy calendar my sister-in-law Renee’ gave me has this verse for October 2nd  –

                            Isaiah 64:8    Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.   Message for me – as a loving Father, God wants the best for me. God does not form cracked pots.

As I have reflected on the three ways that I have been confronted with the reality of God at work  – creating me to be the vessel He wants so I can accomplish the purpose He has for me – I am reminded of God’s unconditional love for me.

God doesn’t give up, as I have been known to do when a piece of pottery isn’t formed the way I want. As our Father, God will continue working on us until we become the unique vessel, the work of His hands, that He planned. Then we will be able to pour out His Glory!

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Beware!

      Doesn’t their mother bathe them?

No Fighting!!!!

                  “The worst thing you can ever think is “that will never happen to me” because then your guard is down and you are vulnerable to attack.”

I remember reading those words years ago in a book by J. Allan Petersen called the Myth of the Greener Grass. It was a short, but powerful message on the all too common issue of marital infidelity among clergy. Over the years I have observed the truth of these words, not just in Christian marriages, but with children of Christian parents as well. If  we find ourselves judging other parents and the way they manage their children, we can fall into a nasty trap.

“I would NEVER let my child do that!” “I can’t believe they let their children watch that on TV!” “They let their kids run wild, don’t they have any control over their kids?” “My children always tell me the truth, those children lie to get out of trouble.” and the ALL TIME WORST – “My child will never do that!”

If we are honest, we have all had thoughts similar to these, probably many times over. Yet we DON’T know all that is going on in the families of those we judge. Some parents allow their children to do certain things we find objectionable because their child is learning to overcome obstacles we can’t imagine. As a teacher I have seen some of my students face issues in their home life that are so horrific – it amazes me they make it to school at all, much less function productively. It is so very important that we recognize that each family is distinctive and each family faces circumstances that are unique.

There certainly are universal qualities that are generally considered desirable in families. Phil and I have facilitated parenting sessions for parents of adolescents over the years and Phil begins by asking parents “What do you hope for your children?” It is always good to begin a task with the goal in mind. The old saying – “You can’t steer a parked car” is true. If you don’t know where you want to end up – you won’t know when you get there. As a parent, if I don’t have a clear view of what I want my family to be like – I will not be actively leading my children in the right direction.

Back to the list from parents – we found that parents often knew what they didn’t want, but weren’t as clear about what they felt was important. If parents only work at avoiding certain behaviors, they will not be building character in their children’s lives. “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice!” may send my child the message that it is not respectful to talk a certain way. Yet will that statement teach my child the respectful response? No. Only focusing on negative behaviors will not produce positive results. After considering what was most important to them, the parents in the sessions formed a pretty consistent list of positive qualities they hoped for their children.

  • honest
  • helpful and thoughtful (positive spin on “not selfish”)
  • happy, content
  • well-adjusted, friendly
  • self-supporting (generally added by dads)
  • successful – which most parents realized resulted from the above mentioned qualities.

There are no “perfect” families because families are made up of imperfect people. Yet we can certainly plan and “steer” toward making our families places that nurture the qualities we hope for our children. We must guard against a judgemental attitude that only reflects the negative and does not foster positive development.

I Corinthians 10: 11-13  NLT

12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. 13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

The challenge for each of us as parents is to be intentional about training our children in positive, Godly ways, and avoid the trap of judging other parents. God is Faithful!!!