Tag Archives: Christian parenting

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A Thankful Heart

Thanksgiving is this week, and it is my favorite holiday. There are several reasons for this. I love the food that is traditional on Thanksgiving. I love getting together with family and friends and sharing food and fellowship. I also appreciate that Thanksgiving is about being something as opposed to giving and receiving.

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful, and I am amazed and humbled when I think about all I have to be thankful for. Yet something that is brushed aside in our current culture is the object of our thankfulness – the One to whom thanks is due. I loved teaching about the first Thanksgiving when I was teaching elementary school, because it was an opportunity to talk about God, prayer, and sharing with others.

In 1782 the Continental Congress made a proclamation of which the following is a portion – (Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln made proclamations of their own in subsequent years)

I Do hereby recommend to the inhabitants of these States in general, to observe, and request the several States to interpose their authority in appointing and commanding the observation of THURSDAY the twenty-eight day of NOVEMBER next, as a day of solemn THANKSGIVING to GOD for all his mercies: and they do further recommend to all ranks, to testify to their gratitude to GOD for his goodness.

I am blessed by the words – “Thanksgiving to God” and “gratitude to God”. It is not enough to be thankful, we must express our thankfulness to God. He alone is worthy of our gratitude for all that He has done, is doing, and will do to accomplish His will in our families and the world.

My husband has taught middle school Language Arts for a long time. (Bless his heart!) Last year he came home and told me “I had something happen today that has never happened in all my years of teaching. As this student left class today, she turned to me and said, “Mr. Woody, thank you for teaching me.” Phil was so blessed by this.  Now he has received many nice and sincere notes and cards over the years from students thanking him for what a great teacher he is. Yet the heartfelt, spontaneous words of this young lady meant so much.

When we express to God our heartfelt thanks – it blesses Him. This attitude of gratitude is something we must intentionally cultivate in our children. One of the marks of the current culture is an attitude of entitlement which says  “I deserve this!” As sinful beings in a fallen world, we do NOT deserve the blessings we receive from God. It is His mercy and grace which enable us to call God “Abba, Father.” As a loving Father He desires to bless His children.

Psalm 145: 3-5

3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; 
   His greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation commends your works to another;
   they tell of your mighty acts.
5 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
   and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

Here the Psalmist is saying that one generation must let the next know just how mighty, glorious, and splendid God is! As parents this is a challenge and a great opportunity. As we share with our children just how faithful God has been and how much He has done for us as His children, it will remind us of His work in our lives and at the same time, bless our Heavenly Father as we give Him the glory.

So, this Thanksgiving, let’s express thanks to God as this old hymn written in 1636.

Now thank we all our God, with heart and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done, in Whom this world rejoices;
Who from our mothers’ arms has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love, and still is ours today.

O may this bounteous God through all our life be near us,
With ever joyful hearts and blessèd peace to cheer us;
And keep us in His grace, and guide us when perplexed;
And free us from all ills, in this world and the next!

All praise and thanks to God the Father now be given;
The Son and Him Who reigns with Them in highest Heaven;
The one eternal God, whom earth and Heaven adore;
For thus it was, is now, and shall be evermore.

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Clearly Focused

Our daughters take lots of pictures of our grandchildren – and I am so thankful!

First of all – they have much better cameras than we do. Our camera was given free to my husband at a workshop on using digital images in the classroom. (that’s why he signed up for the workshop and I must say that many images have appeared in our local paper of students photographed with that camera)

Secondly, our daughters have the subject matter close at hand. We enjoy seeing pictures of grandchildren – it does not matter what they are doing. Pictures do speak a thousand words.

Lastly, our daughters all show an ability to capture those rare moments without cropping off heads, without making the image appear microscopic, or without huge red eyes and blurred features. Their pictures are clearly focused.

Have you ever looked at blurred images? They cause you to blink, squint, and sometimes question your vision. Yet when an image is clearly focused, it is a pleasure to behold. Blurred images are hard to recognize and objects or people that are blurred can be mistaken for something or someone else. Blurred images can cause confusion – especially if the background is in focus and the main image is blurred. What is the point of the picture?

As parents we need to be clearly focused on what is most important in our child’s life. I remember a wise man, Jay Fesperman,  saying at a parent retreat we attended, “Our goal as Christian parents is to raise our children in such a way that it takes an act of their will to walk away from God.” That statement kept us clearly focused as parents. When questions of setting boundaries came up – we asked ourselves – “Will this lead our children toward a relationship with God?” If the answer was “no” we re-thought our plan. If a rule protected our children from harm or led them toward making responsible choices – we followed through in that area.

This clear vision kept us from wavering or following every parenting trend that came along. If we are clearly focused, we may run the risk of being called “narrow-minded”. A woman who has had an immeasurable impact on my spiritual life is Elizabeth Elliot. I once heard her say, ” We Christians have narrow vision because we are clearly focused.” Yes! Just as a photograph has impact because the photographer captured the subject matter purposefully, we will have positive impact as parents if we focus on a goal.

In Hebrews 12: 2-3 this principle is addressed.

2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.                   3 Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men,  so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

We are encouraged to “fix our eyes on Jesus” who is our model for life and Godliness. Even when we encounter opposition from others about our parenting decisions, if we are clearly focused on what God has called us to as parents, we must not grow weary and lose heart. God is faithful!!

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Constraining Love

 

I was the kind of child that wanted to please my parents. Not all children are like that, as anyone who has more than one child knows! It is not better or worse to be compliant, easy-going, or submissive to authority. It may be easier for parents, but people pleasers like myself can get into trouble if they choose to please the wrong people!

In my case, it just made me feel good to have my parents approval and I felt very loved by them.  As I matured and began to love my parents in return, I did not want to disappoint them. I was blessed that they loved me unconditionally and I did not have to strive for their love. Because they expressed their love for me verbally as well as through actions, I grew up feeling secure and valued. Looking back at pictures of myself, I was an odd looking child. (see above photo for irrefutable proof!) Yet I thought I was attractive. Imagine! My father would tell me how nice I looked, and I believed him.

The love I had for my parents kept me from doing many things as an adolescent that would have gotten me in big trouble. By nature I am an uninhibited person and I would do silly things just for fun, or for attention. I clearly remember NOT doing certain things because I knew my parents would be disappointed in me. I think of this as constraining love. In our large old dictionary, the definition of constrain is –  to compel or oblige. The love I had for my parents, not fear of the consequences of disobedience, kept me from making some bad choices.

I hear my high school students talk about their weekends and sometimes they will say things like – “If my parents knew about this – they would KILL me!” or “My mom found out I lied, so I can’t go anywhere this weekend.” These students have no remorse for what they did – only that they got caught.

We must not get caught in the deceptive thought pattern that “if I love my child enough, they will not make wrong choices.” That is not true, look at Adam and Eve! Yet unconditional love is a powerful force for good. God so loved us that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for us. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” God’s love came FIRST – not our feeble attempt to obey Him. When we love our children unconditionally, not based on what they do but WHO THEY ARE, we are laying the groundwork for constraining love. Love that does not want to disappoint.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 (NIV)  

 14 For Christ’s love compels (KJV constrains) us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.

God’s great and unconditional love for us should produce a love response from us that causes us to walk in obedience to our heavenly Father. Our love for God should be so great that we are compelled to do His will. What better example could we set for our children?