Tag Archives: Family

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Deep Faith

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“They are fine. They have deep faith.”

My older brother spoke these words in response to my question, “How do you think Mom and Dad are doing?”

Ever since Garry said that, I have been asking myself a question –

Deep Faith – what is deep faith?

It is more than hope.

It is more than a reasoned sense.

It is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that GOD IS FAITHFUL.

No matter what happens, no matter how I feel, God is faithful.

As my “tween” grandchildren would say – “God’s got this.”

My 91-year-old father has been in the hospital and we are waiting for results from a myriad of tests. In the mean time, we must have deep faith. No matter what the results, God is faithful.

God is faithful to my dad who is weak and doesn’t like being in bed, poked and prodded.

God is faithful to my mother who is watching her mate of 68 years struggle.

God is faithful to my brothers and me as we watch the rock of our family seeming to fade.

Deep faith is based on the immovable, unchangeable, irrefutable fact that God is faithful. God will fulfill His purposes and His word assures us it is for our good. God is love.

Shallow faith is subject to the circumstances around us. Just like a shallow rooted plant, shallow faith

  • dries up when it is not watered
  • it is easily uprooted and destroyed
  • it can wither from being crowded out
  • it’s existence is based on outside conditions

Hebrews 11:1-3 (NIV)

11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.

3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Deep faith.

The kind of faith that stands firm no matter the circumstances.

May we have this deep faith in our loving, heavenly Father.

 

 

 

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Unsolicited Advice

Three Generations - Four Mothers

Three Generations – Four Mothers

“Don’t give advice to your adult children unless they ask for your advice.”

I made this statement to a friend whose daughter recently got married. Now she has a son-in-law for the first time. This couple recently moved to another state and my friend wondered about sharing some practical advice with them that she thought would be helpful.

We have three sons-in-law, and I realized early on that as soon as our daughters got married, their source of advice switched. As well it should.

The Bible says in Genesis 2:24

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

So, the man and wife each LEAVE their father and mother and become one. Notice it doesn’t say “and become six” which would include both sets of parents.

Leaving is not just a physical act, it is also intellectual and emotional.

  • leaving physically  – changing location of “home”
  • leaving intellectually – understanding what it means to become one, choosing your spouse over others
  • leaving emotionally – feelings that your love and loyalty goes to your spouse first

That is why we shouldn’t give unsolicited advice. When we do, our adult child is put in the middle and must decide between following the parent’s advice – or the advice of their spouse.

That is not fair.

Do I always follow this practice myself?

Absolutely not!

Do I never give unsolicited advice?

Unfortunately, I do.

But I have three daughters who will respectfully let me know – “Mom, this is not your business.” It is a very good thing that they do. I don’t want our daughters or our sons-in-law to dread my interference in their lives.

I had 20+ years to tell our children what to do – to mess with their lives. That was enough time.

We often look back fondly on the “good old days” of our children being young and think that our grandchildren should have the same opportunities. We remember how we used to do things and think it was so much better.

But was it really better? Was it better because we were young and we remember how it felt being young?

Our children and grandchildren will look BACK on these current times and someday remember them as “the good old days”. Imagine that!

What can we do when we see something that sincerely concerns us about our adult children or grandchildren?

Pray.

Philippians 4:6-8  (TLB)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

When our adult children do ask for advice – give it respectfully and thoughtfully. What a blessing it is to have adult children seek our advice!

When my parents lived with us, Phil would often ask my father for advice, especially when it came to plants and trees, my father’s field of study. My dad is the kind of person who never gives advice unless asked, which is a reason we were able to live together so well. In the past several months, two of our sons-in-law have asked Phil for advice. Phil also does not give advice unless he is asked. We were blessed that they valued Phil’s thoughts.

So, remember to treat our adult children as we want to be treated. That is why the golden rule is golden…..

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Picture Perfect?

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What would Jesus’ family Christmas photo have looked like?

“It’s like we get those perfect Christmas family photos everyday now on Facebook and social media.”

I heard the above statement on the radio and it certainly struck a chord with me. My friend, Alice Marie, and I had just been talking about the unrealistic impressions that “perfect photos” often bring.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE pictures on Facebook! I joined Facebook in the first place so that I could see the photos our daughters posted of our grandchildren. I also enjoy seeing friends’ and acquaintances’ pictures and activities, some from very far away.

Yet what impression are we sharing? That we are “perfect” and all is peace and light on the home front?

We all are familiar with the idea that “a picture speaks a thousand words” – but are those words accurate? Do they reflect real life?

Let’s imagine for a moment that there was photography at the time of Jesus birth. What would the first family photo of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus look like?

  • Mary and Joseph had traveled that day, so they probably looked pretty tired
  • They had the dust of travel on their clothes
  • There was no room in the inn, so they were offered a stable for shelter
  • Their clothes were certainly not “festive” or “color coordinated” (so, ok, Phil – color does not ALWAYS matter)
  • The animals were nearby, though they were not the pets often included in our holiday photos

So, here is the picture – the family is gathered in a stable, a great setting considering the current trend to use rustic backgrounds for photos. They are in rumpled, dusty clothes, a grouping of three – odd numbers are always good visually. The lighting is good because oddly enough, there is an unusually bright star shining right over the new baby. How fortunate is that?

But wait! There seems to be various men and boys crowding around to get in the picture! They brought sheep with them! They don’t seem to be related to this family of three. (maybe they can be photo shopped out later)

The parents are smiling, weary, but happy smiles gazing fondly at the new baby.

The Baby….

What would that photo of Jesus look like?

Would it radiate with the glory of His heavenly Father? Would there be any indication of the incarnate presence of God? Jesus birth made the angels announce – Luke 2:13-14

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

The more I thought about what a picture of Jesus would look like, the more I thought that He would probably look like an ordinary baby. Tammy Youmans said her grandson Micah said – “Jesus rolled himself up into a baby.” I love that image.

We are so much more than our outward appearance, aren’t we? So was Jesus when He was here in human form.

Jesus was fully a man – and fully God.

As we celebrate Jesus’ birth with family and friends this year, let’s take LOTS of pictures and share the joy and fun we experience.

Let us also remember that pictures don’t show the heartache of loss of loved ones, the pain and suffering that is often unseen but is a part of all of our lives.

Let us remember the words of hope the angel shared – Luke 2:10-11

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.

God’s perfect gift – Jesus.