Tag Archives: Parenting

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No Excuses

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Teach high school students and you will hear the most amazing excuses. I am almost awed by the creativity that some students use to explain their lack of responsibility. The operative word is almost. Having had four children navigate the precarious waters of high school has caused me to be a bit hardened to the myriad reasons that a class assignment is not complete or cannot be found to turn in for a grade.

We had a family birthday celebration this weekend and there were two situations with our grandchildren which caused me to realize that they are not that far removed from adolescent reasoning – or should I say adolescent lack of reasoning. Two year olds act without thinking. Fourteen year olds act without thinking. As a teacher and a parent I have found myself asking in a tone of frustration – “What were you thinking?” The truth is ….they weren’t thinking.

God has created us with an amazing capacity to think and understand. Yet it is not automatic. All healthy children are born with the potential to think.  Yet we know from recent brain reasearch that the reasoning capacity of humans is developing as they mature and in many individuals the ability to recognize cause and effect is not fully formed until a person is in their twenties. (Please don’t give in to depression!) That is why God designed families and why children have parents. Children need adults in their lives to set boundaries and explain the cause and effect of certain decisions. Humans are not like snakes or spiders who slither and crawl away soon after birth to fend for themselves. (If they didn’t, their parent might eat them!)

I am so blessed when I see parents of young children limit screen time. It is the rare child who will do this on their own. Once children get outside it is fun to see them play with Tonka trucks and climb trees. They use those large motor skills and gain strength in muscles besides their thumbs.

As children play outside and interact with the world around them they will start to see God’s power and divine nature expressed in creation. Don’t take excuses for not playing outside…unless the weather would lead to adverse cause and effect. As we train our children to think and reason, we are demonstrating God’s nature.

Romans 1:02

20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made,so that people are without excuse.

In God’s plan there are no excuses.

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Servant Leaders

Helping Nana

I am so pleased when one of my students cleans up without being asked. It warms my heart when a student helps another student just because assistance is needed. High school students often get a “bad rap” for being selfish and self-centered. Yet I am often blessed to see another side – a side that would shock their parents in a good way.

What cultivates a servant’s heart? Why do some young people notice when help is needed – and then respond? There may be various reasons, yet I know of two qualities that fertilize seeds of service.

First – positive examples. When children see adults serve others, it demonstrates a living example of a servant. If parents and grandparents are the ones who help carry groceries in from the car, clean up after meals, offer to sweep the porch, or rake the leaves – children will see this and follow the example. It is a wonderful opportunity to include older children in work days for the church or elderly neighbors. Working alongside your child or grandchild allows fellowship as well as the fulfillment of serving together.

Second – providing opportunities for service. The earlier children learn to serve others, the sooner it allows serving to become a pattern of behavior. It is often easier and less stressful to do a chore ourselves. Yet, when we need help, our children and grandchildren may not know what to do or how to follow through in a helpful way. Depending on the age of a child, giving them responsibility for small tasks develops their confidence and their ability to follow through. Early acts of service may include:

  • wiping off the table
  • putting forks and spoons at each place for a meal
  • folding wash cloths or hand towels
  • sweeping the deck or sidewalk
  • matching socks
  • raking leaves, picking up sticks (stick patrol)

Jesus is the ultimate example of a servant.

Let Christ be your example of humility – Philippians 2:5-11

5-11 Let Christ himself be your example as to what your attitude should be. For he, who had always been God by nature, did not cling to his prerogatives as God’s equal, but stripped himself of all privilege by consenting to be a slave by nature and being born as mortal man. And, having become man, he humbled himself by living a life of utter obedience, even to the extent of dying, and the death he died was the death of a common criminal. That is why God has now lifted him so high, and has given him the name beyond all names, so that at the name of Jesus “every knee shall bow”, whether in Heaven or earth or under the earth. And that is why, in the end, “every tongue shall confess” that Jesus Christ” is the Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus also said –

Mark 9:35-40 (NLT)

35 He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our elected officials would take this attitude?

May we be examples of servant leaders to the precious children in our lives.

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Celebrating Family

Tyler and the turtle

“I love my Pop because he plays with me and reads stories with funny voices. He takes me in the barn and gives me rides in the cart. Pop loves me and I love him.”

These and other words reflect the sentiments of our six eldest grandchildren as we celebrated Pop’s 60th birthday this weekend. Phil’s actual birthday was September 24th, but our eldest daughter couldn’t come from the west coast until early in October. So, since Phil doesn’t put much value on special days (or holidays in general) he was fine with celebrating when all of our four children could be here together. In fact, the only request that Phil had in regard to turning 60 was celebrating with family. We did well in that regard – all four children, one brother, 8 grandchildren, one son-in-law and 2 parents-in-law.

There was lots of playing outside in the leaves, piling them up and jumping in the pile. We had a campfire and roasted marshmallows and made s’mores.  Great grandpa lived up to his reputation of roasting the perfect marshmallow – an evenly light brown crust with a soft, oozing center. It is an art form!

The grandchildren played with a box turtle found by Great grandpa. This amazing turtle was oblivious to the children’s squeals of delight and never receded into its shell.  It crawled around and every time it was picked up and moved, it stayed out of its shell and just crawled more. It eventually crept under the periwinkle and hopefully has found peace, safety, and a food source.

The little branch that runs through the yard (it is too small to call a creek) was the next center of attention. The grandchildren made “soup”, “spaghetti” and other tasty delicacies. All had wet feet (including their socks and shoes) and mud splashed on clothes. Pop found a crawdad, and the claws held fascination for the children.

We picked some of the remaining flowers in the yard and the little ones took them to their mothers (or aunt). Then they came back to me and wanted a flower for themselves!

All these activities were a time to enjoy the wonder and beauty of God’s creation. The beauty of the fall trees and colorful leaves is often appreciated this time of year. Yet seeing the turtle and crawdad were special surprises that added to the blessing of being together as a family. Picking a flower blossom, even if it is taken apart petal by petal, is a chance to examine creation first hand.

Matthew 6:28-33 New Living Translation

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

The beauty of the leaves and flowers and the wonder of the turtle and crawdad were especially meaningful because we saw the wonder of God’s creation through the wonder in the eyes of our grandchildren.

Celebrating Family with our children and grandchildren this weekend was such a blessing. It didn’t cost any money to participate in those activities outside. After the children were in bed we talked and laughed and talked some more. We discussed watching a movie or playing a game, but we were all tired and only played a game together as adults once.

Celebrating family comes in many forms – different families have unique ways to celebrate. The important part is to celebrate the blessing of being together.