Day by Day

Today Phil and I are celebrating our 48th wedding anniversary.

My overwhelming sense is thankfulness –

  • first to God for bringing us together (it is truly a God ordained match)
  • to our families for supporting us throughout our marriage
  • for our Christian friends who have set an example in their own marriages
  • and…held us accountable

It is a choice day by day to maintain a loving, supportive relationship in marriage. The vows we pledged on that cold wintery day, November 29th,1975 in Wheaton, Illinois were just empty words if we did not make the choice each day to live them out.

I was talking with a dear family friend on Thanksgiving who has been free from alcohol addiction for many years now. I asked him if it was still hard at times. He said “Gayle, I make the choice every day not to drink. Once I make that choice it is easy.”

I realized that is exactly what commitment in marriage should look like. Every day I make the choice to

  • love
  • honor
  • respect
  • forgive
  • be faithful to
  • and ENJOY my spouse.

In Ephesians 5: 31-32 Paul quotes from Genesis – the beginning of the Bible

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

It is still a mystery to me after 48 years how God unites us into one. Anyone who knows Phil and I know how opposite we are in so many ways. Yet we are united in our desire to love one another and serve our Savior – Jesus Christ. That has been the day by day commitment that has held us together these many years.

Phil has been a wonderful, supportive husband and an outstanding father to Benjamin, Hannah, Salem, and Abigail. Our children are – and have been – a great source of joy in our lives. Now we are grandparents. How we love those grandchildren! Our family is far from perfect, we have disagreements, we argue, we see things differently. Yet we share a love for each other in spite of our shortcomings. I am so thankful for that.

Thank you, Phil, for your deep love and support low these 48 years! I am so blessed to be married to you.

May God bless us with many more years together. I love you.

The Wedding Gift – 41 One Years Ago Today

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The Wedding Gift

By Phillip Hix Woody

I know they aren’t diamonds – these boots

But if you’ll give them a chance

I think they’ll make a fine pair of roots

for your feet.

You see, I thought it would be romantic

To walk in the woods with you

To get away from the frantic routine

and be alone.

I wanted your feet to be protected

And if I had suspected you’d be upset

I’d have bought you a diamond instead.

Maybe someday.

Someday we’ll hike to the end of a trail

where we’ll find hidden treasure.

And these boots will take us there.

 

When Phil gave me hiking boots as a wedding present, I must be honest and say that I was a bit disappointed. Yet, I know that I have enjoyed hiking with Phil in many places that I never would have dreamed of visiting. The interesting fact is that I remember being disappointed by the hiking boots, but I can’t think now of one gift I would rather have received. 

We hike together often with children and grandchildren. The above photo was taken this past Friday on the top of Clingman’s Dome in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It continues to be a favorite hiking place for us.

There is a lesson in this for me – 41 years later. I should receive gifts as tokens of the relationship I have with the giver. It really is NOT about the gift – it is about the one who gives. Phil gave me the hiking boots because he wanted us to hike together. His motive was to share together something he loved doing. What a meaningful expression of love – one that blesses me as I read his poem.

So, on this our anniversary, I will share a Scripture that I have prayed concerning Phil many times.

Philippians 1:3-8

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

I am so thankful for these 41 years!

May we have many more years of hiking together!

Love – Invest for Eternity

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Today would have been my parents’ 68th wedding anniversary.

They had over 67 years together and this is the first anniversary that mother is alone.

Yet, she would tell you she is not alone.

She has Jesus.

I was with her two weeks ago and we were going through the many cards, letters, notes and messages that Mother has received since the passing of my father at 91 years old on February 10th. It was a very sweet time of remembering people who had been blessed by my father and mother, and who had in turn blessed them. Among the notes was one in my father’s handwriting. It was on a small piece of note paper and must have been placed in a small gift box on their anniversary 4 years ago. She had placed it with the new notes to put in a memory book I was making for her.

Tears came to my eyes as I read the following:

Dear Esther,

I could fill this box with many material things and they would end up being just things. But I am filling this box with two intangibles that will be valued by you for the rest of your life.

So – this box is filled to its fullest with God’s love that can not be fully described but keenly felt, and with my love that has been yours for over 64 years and will continue on till we have to part, but then will become the indescribable love of being with Jesus.

love, Bark

This is what authentic love invested in another individual looks like – an investment for eternity.

I Corinthians 13 describes REAL love. Verse 7 summarizes love that is the antithesis of the love our culture practices.

Love never gives up,never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (NLT)

Verse 13 ends this treatise on authentic love –

Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love.

I am so thankful for parents who loved one another with God’s love. It was loved that lasted as long as they both lived, and now is “that indescribable love of being with Jesus” as my father wrote to mother.

I pray that our marriages will be just such a demonstration of God’s love to our children and grandchildren.

Invest in love for eternity.