Category Archives: Being a Mom

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Do The Next Thing

We just had the privilege of taking care of our three granddaughters for a week. I am left with two overwhelming feelings – first – exhaustion  – and then a new and deep respect for our daughter and son-in-law as parents. I had forgotten just how constant the care of young children is. There is never any down time while 6, 4, and 2 year olds are awake. As you mothers of young children know – you must be ever mindful of where your children are and what they are doing.

I enjoyed every minute of  our granddaughters’ visit, yet I must admit  I was worn out. I had planned to do several small projects while they napped or after they went to bed. One project was crocheting a border around a new, small blanket. for the 2-year-old to carry (so it wouldn’t drag in the dirt)  RIGHT!  That did not happen. I was reminded of some helpful advice I received when our children were small. Elizabeth Elliot, author and Bible teacher, encouraged young mothers to deal with overwhelming stress by encouraging one to just “do the next thing”. I found this piece of wisdom so practical because I remember many times being overwhelmed by my responsibility as a mother of young children.

Instead of focusing on all I had to do and knowing there were not enough hours in the day to get it all done, I would “do the next thing ” and focus  instead on the task at hand. It sounds so simple – but it is excellent advice and it works. When I  felt overwhelmed I would change the next diaper, put the next load of diapers in the washing machine (yes, I am old enough to have had three in CLOTH diapers at the same time), or make the next peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I found that it was not so much the difficulty of any one task that was overwhelming, but the sheer number of things that MUST be done. I found that instead of being paralyzed into doing nothing, I was able to gradually accomplish the most important tasks. In the workplace people prioritize, but with small children the “priority” task is not always the most important task. Sometimes reading a story FIRST will offer a child the attention they need and then afterward allow you to start supper without a screaming appendage attached to your leg.

It is part of life experience to be overwhelmed at times. In Psalms, David addresses God in desperation –

Psalm 61:1 – 2  “Hear my cry, O God; attend  unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” When David was overwhelmed, he cried out to God. I have done that often and will again in this journey as a mother. It is a blessing to know I am not alone with these feelings and that my heavenly Father hears my cry and answers. I had begun writing this post on July 4th, but the “next thing” for me that day was our 6 grandchildren, my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece, two daughters, two sons-in-law, a son and husband. So, a week went by without a post, not a big deal. Doing the next thing did NOT mean I finished everything, it did mean I finished some things and accomplished what was most important that day as a grandmother, mother, daughter, sister, and wife.

Then, I did the next thing.

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Along for the Ride

Old Holly Cove Truck

When I was 10 years old my parents operated a campground in the summers for families camping in tents and trailers. It was located in the Great Smoky Mountains of western North Carolina and my brothers and I spent delightful summers working and playing alongside our family and friends. Dad had an old Ford truck and every time we children heard the engine crank, we ran to ask if we could go along for the ride. We would jump in the back of the truck, make sure our “bottoms were on the floor” and off we would go. Sometimes Dad would say, “Do you want to go with me?” since he knew we enjoyed feeling the air rush through our hair as it cooled us off on a hot summer day.

We never asked “Where are you going?” It didn’t matter. We were along for the ride. We didn’t care about the route or destination because the ride itself was exciting. Thinking about it now brings back a flood of pleasant memories. If my memory serves me rightly, the majority of the trips were to Sylva Coal and Lumber or Vance’s Hardware Store. Dad  would buy supplies for campground repairs, and we would return home, riding in the back of the truck with whatever he had purchased.

God wants us to respond to Him in much the same way my brothers and I responded to our father.  He has called us to follow Him – He often doesn’t tell us where we are going or why. We may not know where we are going, but we do know who we are going with. When God called Abraham ( Abram at that time) to a foreign land, He didn’t tell him much about the destination.  Abram knew God and trusted Him. The Bible is full of people who walked by faith. There are also numerous accounts of those who didn’t and the results aren’t pleasant.

I realize as I get older that it is the process of following God – or journey itself – that is important, not just the end result or the destination.

Matthew 16:24-25 (NIV)

 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. ”

Being an effective mother is losing our right to our own way, as we stated in an earlier post. Yet I know that too often I have focused on the “goal” ahead of me instead of  following God – whether the goal was getting the babies out of diapers, helping them learn to talk, walk, feed themselves, etc. Instead, I should see the day-to-day challenge of being a mother as significant.  If I could see each day as a “ride in the back of the truck” instead of a destination that must be reached I believe it would facilitate my desire to be a follower of God. As I relinquish my control over the destination – “losing my life” – God will take me where He wants me and I will “find my life” in Him.

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Genetic Implications

Yesterday was Father’s Day and I am still blessed to have my father with us, in fact my parents live in our home. In thinking about the qualities that I most appreciate about my father, it is his faithful example of being a godly man that most stands out. He taught high school Biology for 40 years, 33 at Wheaton Central High School in Wheaton, Illinois, and after taking early retirement, he taught at a mission school in Taichung, Taiwan for 7 more years. He never lost his passion for teaching or his wonder at examining the uniqueness of God’s creation. My father was respected by his peers in education as well as his students. I know this because I attended the high school where my father taught. He has a natural ability to command respect in his quiet, but firm way.

When I was a junior in high school I tried out for the school musical, “Oklahoma.”  I was thrilled to get the part of Aunt Eller!  She was a feisty old lady, a part I could really get into! – until I read the script.  She cussed!  Those words jumped off the page at me and I knew deep down I couldn’t say them. I knew actresses are just ‘playing a part’ and that it wouldn’t be me saying those words but Aunt Eller; yet my overwhelming thought was ‘My father would be ashamed of me.’ I know he would see his daughter on stage, not some fictional character. I knew I had no choice. The next day I took the script to the director knowing that what I had to do might lose me the part. I showed the director, Mr. Schomas the page of dialogue and said “I can’t say those words.”  If I’d said anything more I would have cried. He looked at me and replied “I know your father. Just say something else that you feel is in character.”

My father’s conduct in and out of the classroom was consistent.  His fellow teachers saw that he lived what he preached and I was the beneficiary of that reputation. The thought of bringing shame to my father was of greater consequence to me then keeping a part in the play. Yet because he was respected, I was able to do both. The implications of the integrity of my father’s life continue to bless me to this day.

We know there are no spiritual grandchildren, yet I have inherited a rich treasure of spiritual ‘genes’ from my father. How much more our Heavenly Father wants us to be blessed by the spiritual treasures of our life as His children. He has SO MUCH to give us, yet we must be willing to receive from Him. Look at what Scripture says  –

1 John 3: 1,2

 1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.