Category Archives: Grandparenting

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Play Your Part

Lord of the Rings

Hobbit Characters – in full costume!

I am so excited because this weekend I will be attending a play with three of our granddaughters  – “Alice in Wonderland”.

I enjoy live theater and especially enjoy a well done play starring children. Our daughters were in several plays while growing up and it was so much fun watching them be transformed into someone else on stage. Children can be so spontaneous and exciting to watch and little ones always provide comic relief.

I have also ventured forth myself and tried my hand at acting. I was in several plays in high school, one in college, and three as an adult. I remember one play I was in called “Quilters”. I was struggling a bit with my lines and asked our daughters to read the other parts so I could practice. They didn’t really enjoy doing this but they humored me. We repeated my speaking parts over and over.

So – that worked real well!

These pre-teenagers memorized all my lines after “helping” me for about an hour. Every line I “dropped” thereafter they called me on it! How humiliating. (I did fine during the play – the one line I messed up – my fellow actress rescued and only my daughters knew)

It is a lot of work  – yet there are many rewards to participating in theater.

One is learning to play YOUR part.

Once given a part in a play, the actor must stay in that role – no matter what. If a piece of the set falls over, one must stay in character and work through the scene.

The show must go on!

Each part is important – even if one does not have speaking lines. Those who work behind the scenes are important as well. What would a play be without the sets, costumes, and props? Not nearly as enjoyable.

It is also important that each person play THEIR part – not someone else’s part.

What a mess that would be if one actor decided they wanted to say someone else’s lines and come on stage whenever they wanted! There is a phrase that describes actors who steal the limelight – it’s called “upstaging”. It means that someone is taking the attention that rightfully belongs to another.

God has given each of us a part to play in His Kingdom.

Each part is important!

We have places to be, things to say – or not to say, actions to take, etc.

God is the author of our lives and the part He puts us in is just right for us.

I have a friend and co-worker who leads the choral music program at the school where I teach. She directs the musicals that our school puts on each year and does an AMAZING job!

I have thought about the fact that year after year she directs different students in different plays – yet the results are always excellent. Linda knows what role is best for each student. It may not be the one who “looks” the part – it is often the one who can “act” the part. It is theater after all. I think a major part of Linda’s success is putting the right student in the right role. That is a true gift.

We may question why God has put someone – even ourselves – in a certain role. God knows what each of us is capable of.

More importantly God knows what He is capable of through us.

I Corinthians 12: 12-21

12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

These verses clearly demonstrate the fact that God has a role for each of us – and that role is important.

If I am a mother – I must be the mother – not the “best friend” of my child.

If I am the grandmother – I must be the grandmother – not the mother when the mother is present.

Lord, help us play the part you have given us by the power of your Holy Spirit.

Amen.

 

 

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Do the Next Thing (2)

Adah and leaves

I first posted the following blog in July of 2011. In talking to a lovely young mother recently – it came up again  – that feeling of being overwhelmed. I wanted to re-post this because we ALL need to be reminded of this again….and again!

We just had the privilege of taking care of our three granddaughters for a week. I am left with two overwhelming feelings – first – exhaustion – and then a new and deep respect for our daughter and son-in-law as parents. I had forgotten just how constant the care of young children is. There is never any down time while 6, 4, and 2 year olds are awake. As you mothers of young children know – you must be ever mindful of where your children are and what they are doing.

I enjoyed every minute of our granddaughters’ visit, yet I must admit I was worn out. I had planned to do several small projects while they napped or after they went to bed. One project was crocheting a border around a new, small blanket. for the 2-year-old to carry (so it wouldn’t drag in the dirt) RIGHT! That did not happen.

I was reminded of some helpful advice I received when our children were small. Elizabeth Elliot, author and Bible teacher, encouraged young mothers to deal with overwhelming stress by encouraging one to just “do the next thing”. I found this piece of wisdom so practical because I remember many times being overwhelmed by my responsibility as a mother of young children.

Instead of focusing on all I had to do and knowing there were not enough hours in the day to get it all done, I would “do the next thing ” and focus instead on the task at hand.

It sounds so simple – but it is excellent advice and it works. When I felt overwhelmed I would

  • change the next diaper,
  • put the next load of diapers in the washing machine (yes, I am old enough to have had three in CLOTH diapers at the same time),
  • make the next peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I found that it was not so much the difficulty of any one task that was overwhelming, but the sheer number of things that MUST be done. I found that instead of being paralyzed into doing nothing, I was able to gradually accomplish the most important tasks. In the workplace people prioritize, but with small children the “priority” task is not always the most important task. Sometimes reading a story FIRST will offer a child the attention they need and then afterward allow you to start supper without a screaming appendage attached to your leg.

It is part of life experience to be overwhelmed at times. In Psalms, David addresses God in desperation –

Psalm 61:1 – 2 “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.”

When David was overwhelmed, he cried out to God.

I have done that often and will again in this journey as a mother. It is a blessing to know I am not alone with these feelings and that my heavenly Father hears my cry and answers. I had begun writing this post on July 4th, but the “next thing” for me that day was our 6 grandchildren, my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece, two daughters, two sons-in-law, a son and husband. So, a week went by without a post, not a big deal.

Doing the next thing did NOT mean I finished everything, it did mean I finished some things and accomplished what was most important that day as a grandmother, mother, daughter, sister, and wife.

Then, I did the next thing.

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Driving me CRAZY!!

Never this sweet girl!

Never this sweet girl!

There are certain looks, or tones of voice, certain words or phrases that can drive us crazy. (whatever!)

I remember thinking if one more child walks in the door and the FIRST thing they say is “What’s for supper?” that I just might roast that child!!!

It’s those little irritants that can make a day so trying. Here are a few that come quickly to mind:

  •  I have just mopped the kitchen floor and they come in from soccer practice in their cleats.
  •  I have just finished getting everyone dressed, ready to go out the door and a HUGE stinky diaper is detected
  •  I have all the kids in their car seats and one has to go to the bathroom – RIGHT NOW
  •  We sorted the toys while the youngest is taking a nap. After that child wakes up – she dumps all the toys out.
  •  We are all dressed up for a family picture and the baby spits up on the ONLY blouse I can button right now.
  •  I have 4 suckers of different colors and they ALL want the green one.

You get the picture – these are all little things – but they can be so irritating.

I read recently about the process that a clam goes through in making a pearl.  A grain of sand  – or other irritant – gets in the shell. The clam forms a coating, layer after layer of smooth surface to cover that irritant. That becomes the pearl! It no longer irritates because it is smooth and round.

What a lovely picture.

Those very things our children do that drive us crazy can become the substance of something very beautiful. It is not the behavior that becomes beautiful, but my response to it. If I can be patient, loving, and full of grace in those trying situations – something of beauty is formed.

Jesus is teaching about the Kingdom Of Heaven in Matthew 13. He wants his disciples, and us, to understand that the Kingdom of Heaven is of great value because it is where the King – God – rules or has authority. Jesus says –

Matthew 13:45-46   AMP

45 Again the kingdom of heaven is like a man who is a dealer in search of fine and precious pearls,

46 Who, on finding a single pearl of great price, went and sold all he had and bought it.

Jesus wants us to value God’s authority in our lives more than anything else. He wants us to value His rule as we would a very expensive pearl. The Lord desires to use those things in our lives that we see as irritants to “polish” off our rough edges and make us “shiny” enough to reflect His glory.

I pray that we can see the things that rub us the wrong way as people or circumstances that God is using in our lives.

It’s ok to recognize that certain behaviors are driving us crazy – but let’s allow God to use those very things to make us more like Jesus.