Category Archives: Parenting

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“Look at Me”

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“Look at me, Gayle. Did you hear what I said?” My mother often said this to get my attention. She wanted to make sure that I listened to what she had to say.

“Look at my eyes, Hannah. Did you hear what I said?” I used similar words to get my daughter’s attention and communicate vital information.

Why look at my eyes? Because our eyes communicate as well. There is the look that says:
* I have said this before – but here it is again
* you are in BIG trouble if you don’t listen
* you have disappointed me.
* you are dangling from my very last nerve
and finally –
* the look that kills. (this look does not actually kill, it just
makes the recipient wish they were dead)

As a teacher I wait to give instructions until all my students’ eyes are on me. (Heaven forbid that one is glancing down between their legs to read the latest text message!) If I don’t have their full attention – invariably a student will ask – after I have given detailed instructions – “What are we doing today?” Time for the look that kills.

There are so many things that distract us in life. We immediately think about technology in this current age, but I propose there have always been distractions for humans. Think about leaving your log cabin and having to watch for bear, snakes, or a hungry wolf.
The point is that because we are thinking beings – we become distracted.

The God who created us knows this. He also gave us the ability to concentrate, yet it often takes an act of our will.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Amplified Bible

12 Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses who have borne testimony to the Truth, let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance and that sin which so readily clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us,

2 Looking away from all that will distract to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith and is also its Finisher, bringing it to maturity and perfection. He, for the joy of obtaining the prize that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

3 Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds.

The solution is to “look away from all that will distract”. Being the queen of distraction – this is a challange to me. Yet, when I keep my eyes on Jesus – when I “look at Him”, I am able to understand clearly what He is speaking to me.

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“I’m Hungry”

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We just went shopping today at our favorite grocery outlet in preparation for the coming deluge. No, we are not expecting the Tuckaseegee River to flood, although it has come close several times in the past two months. Like much of the southeast, we have had a lot of rain!

The duluge I am preparing for is the annual arrival of family and friends for our 4th of July celebration.

I LOVE IT!

We play silly games, eat, watch the fireworks from the end-of-our driveway, and celebrate the blessing of living in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I have re-painted the mountain “granny and pa-paw” with the holes where you place your face for silly photographs. I also re-painted “Billy Bob” who has holes instead of eyes and mouth to throw bean bags through.(He now has a blue Smoky Mountain ball cap). Phil has mowed a place for a baseball diamond, and repaired the path that rain washed out so that golf cart riders can safely navigate the trail. We have bubble gun for the bubble blowing contest and water ballons for the toss (Will Abi and Greg reclaim the title from Salem and Tim?) Other activities are in the works.

All these preparations are fun, but probably the most important is the food. Why?

Folks need to eat.

I must be honest. Even though I look forward to the games, I realize that many family and friends will get hungry.

Jesus saw this as well during the height of his ministry. Mark 6:34-43 recounts a situation where Jesus was “teaching them many things”. Yet, folks got hungry and Jesus did not ignore that fact.

34 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

35 By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late. 36 Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”

37 But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”

They said to him, “That would take more than half a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”

38 “How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”

When they found out, they said, “Five—and two fish.”

39 Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. 41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. 42 They all ate and were satisfied, 43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. 44 The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand.

Again, in the interest of full disclosure, I would much rather spend time preparing the games than preparing the food. I get tired of the “prepare food, clean up” cycle – then I turn around and someone is hungry again. Yet if Jesus took time from his teaching to feed over 5000 people, I need to see to the needs of those in my family.

I want to adjust my attitude and bring it in line with Scripture.

If Jesus thinks it is important to feed those who are hungry, than so must I.

So, I will prepare food and ask those coming to bring something to share. I certainly don’t want to keep the blessing of sharing food all to myself!

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Genetic Implications #2

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Yesterday was Father’s Day and I am still blessed to have my father with us, in fact my parents live in our home. In thinking about the qualities that I most appreciate about my father, it is his faithful example of being a godly man that most stands out. He taught high school Biology for 40 years, 33 at Wheaton Central High School in Wheaton, Illinois, and after taking early retirement, he taught at a mission school in Taichung, Taiwan for 7 more years. He never lost his passion for teaching or his wonder at examining the uniqueness of God’s creation. My father was respected by his peers in education as well as his students. I know this because I attended the high school where my father taught. He has a natural ability to command respect in his quiet, but firm way.

When I was a high school senior we were setting up for an art show in the lobby of the school. In those days, there were windows facing the hallway from the biology lab. (What was the architect thinking?! My fellow artists and I delivered a load of pedestals for displaying the art work using a rollong cart. On the way back – of course I rode down the hall – laughing as my classmate pushed the cart.

As my father was teaching, he glanced up, saw his daughter riding down the hall on the cart, and without missing a beat said “I wonder what the genetic implications are?” I must have heard that phrase repeated a dozen times the rest of the day as fellow students reported what they had heard my father say.

My father’s conduct in and out of the classroom was consistent. His fellow teachers saw that he lived what he preached and I was the beneficiary of that reputation. The implications of the integrity of my father’s life continue to bless me to this day. I know that his godly example of unconditional love has help me accept my heavenly Father’s love.

We know there are no spiritual grandchildren, yet I have inherited a rich treasure of spiritual ‘genes’ from my father. How much more our Heavenly Father wants us to be blessed by the spiritual treasures of our life as His children. He has SO MUCH to give us, yet we must be willing to receive from Him. Look at what Scripture says –

1 John 3: 1,2

1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

Thanks be to God for blessing me with my father, Clayton Barker.