Tag Archives: Christian parenting

by

Free at Last!

Woody Family in 1990

Woody Family in 1990

“Now that I’m older, I’m free from worrying about that any more. It feels so good!” My friend Winnie said this to me yesterday at church. Winnie is a lovely Christian lady who has held fast to her faith through life’s storms. She is now pursuing a college degree in her 50’s and tutoring college students on the side.

“I am free from so many false beliefs that I had as a young wife and mother.” I replied. “Why didn’t we learn these lessons earlier?” I said to Winnie.

This caused me to reflect on just what some of those erroneous ideas were. These were thoughts I held that kept me in bondage and fed feelings of guilt. Here is a list of some of those toxic thoughts:

* I must have a perfectly clean house before I invite anyone to visit.
* If I invite guests for dinner, the food must be homemade.
* If I am feeling overwhelmed, I must never admit it.
* If I haven’t had a quiet time, I don’t have anything of value to share.
* I’m a bad mother if I yell at my kids.
* I’m a bad mother if my children act up at library story time.
* I’m a bad mother if my children run around at Sunday School.
* I must have a “ministry” outside of my home.

These are just a few of the things that weighed me down as a mother of young children. As you can see – there is some truth in each of these beliefs – but there is much that is false. Those lies kept me frustrated and often full of guilt.

I wanted to have people over, so I would wear myself out cleaning up. I was crabby and demanding of my children – once I even locked them out of the house until the kitchen floor dried after I had mopped it. They have NEVER forgotten this and enjoy seeing my discomfort as they tell people I used to lock them out of the house. To set the record straight – I did that ONE time!

I am not a natural cook – it is an effort for me to make tasty meals. Yet I thought I had to make everything from scratch if I was having guests.

I also gauged my “success” as a mother by my children’s performance. This was partly because as a former teacher, I measured my success as a teacher by how well my students learned. I took this same attitude to my efforts in parenting.

Jesus says in John 8:31-32

31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

As God began to teach me His truth, I was set free from those falsehoods that held me in bondage.

* People come to visit people, not the house. Four children make messes.
* I can buy pre-cut salad – no one cares.
* I must admit my weakness so my husband (or friends) know I need help.
* My relationship with God is based on His grace, not my quiet time.
* If I yell at my kids, I ask forgiveness.
* If my children act up at story time – I teach them respectful manners.
* If my children run at Sunday School – I teach them proper behavior.
* When I feel “I’m not doing enough for the Lord”,
I remember that my family IS my ministry.

The TRUTH does set us free from the bondage of quilt and frustration.
As Winnie said – “It feels so good to be free!”

by

Joyful Hearts

Great Great Grandmother Brandt

I heard the most wonderful words this past week – “Nana, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

My heart was filled with joy.

Words cannot express all that we felt. As parents and grandparents who are Christians, our hearts’ desire is to see our family members become members of the Family of God. Both our oldest grandchildren accepted Jesus a into their hearts last week. Their dad prayed with these precious girls aged almost 8 and 6 years old. We are thankful for their parents who have introduced them to God as their heavenly Father and Jesus as their Savior.

I told my granddaughters when talking to them on the phone that I was blessed that they are now my sisters in the Lord as well as my granddaughters. What joy! We are now each our Father’s daughters.

We have prayed for all our grandchildren since we were first aware of their existance inside their mothers’ womb. We pray for their hearts to be open to God and that they would desire to follow Jesus at a young age. Their great grandparents pray for them daily as well as other family members on both sides of their family. All this prayer might seem to guarantee that all our grandhchildren would become Christians. Yet Scripture does not teach that. If it was an automatic result that our children and grandchildren followed Christ, we would not have responded with such joy and excitement at the news of their decision to accept Christ as Savior.

John 1:11-13 (KJV)

11 He came unto His own, and His own received Him not.

12 But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name:

13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

This Scripture makes it clear that we become part of God’s family by “believing on His name.” That means believing all that God’s name or charactor involves. Now each grandaughters’ journey as a Christian begins. Our responsibility is to encourage them, pray for them, and live as godly examples by following Jesus ourselves.

We will make mistakes. When this happens, we must ask forgiveness. By living honest, transparent lives before our children and grandchildren we allow them to see that following Jesus is not always easy, nor is it without suffering. In fact, if we follow Jesus we WILL have trials and difficulties. The good news is that we have the love of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to enable us to walk with God.

The above picture includes my grandmother (on the left) in the lap of her grandmother. Notice the tents in the backgound? They are at a camp meeting of the Methodist church in 1898 when my grandmother was two years old. What a rich heritage I have of godly women who have been followers of Jesus! Our granddaughters are now part of a lineage that we trust will continue until Jesus returns.

You may not have that heritage of Christian relatives. It is a blessing – but it is NOT what causes children to desire to follow Jesus. Children desire to become Christians because they sense God’s Spirit in their hearts and want to accept His love for themselves. YOU may be the start of a line of those who walk with God.

Let your light shine before your children and grandchildren – God is faithful! My heart is full of joy!

by

First Love

Nana singing to twins

As mothers we love to record “firsts”. First smile, first steps, first words, first teeth, first haircut, first fit in the grocery store…well maybe NOT that first. The list could go on and on. We cherish these moments that denote milestones in the development of our children.

Our pastor read from Revelation 2:4 yesterday about a “first”. This is a sobering message from Jesus Christ to the church in Ephesus.
Revelation 2:1-4 (NKJV)

2 “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.
4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Jesus lists several things that these early Christians are doing well. He is pleased that they are laboring hard for His kingdom, demonstrating patience, they hate evil, etc.

BUT – those things are not enough. Jesus says that in spite of all these great things, they have lost their first love.
Jesus tells us the first commandment in Mark 12:29-31 (NKJV)

29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.

Obviously this first love is very important.

I started to think about the first time I felt God’s love for me. I was a very young child, singing the first sing I ever learned – “Jesus Loves Me.”
It was while singing that song I sensed what I now know was the Holy Spirit. He was filling me with a sense of God’s love for me that I was able to understand even at that young age.

I thought about the times I have sung that song with our children and now our grandchildren. I am so blessed that “Jesus Loves Me” is the first song I ever learned and the first song I have sung with our grandchildren. This simple song is profound in the truth it conveys. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong.”

There have been times in my life when I have allowed other things, even very good things, like my husband and my children to take first place in my life.

When I do that, I open myself up to stress, fear, worry – all the things that are the opposite of God’s presence and the fruit of His Spirit.

I want to keep Jesus as my first love and be an example to my children and grandchildren of one who loves the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. I must never leave my first love.