Tag Archives: Christian parenting

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Road Trip

We took a road trip to Wheaton, Illinois, my home town, this past weekend. “We” consisted of our youngest daughter, her four sons aged 3, twins aged 21 months, baby aged 5 months, and myself. We left Dillsboro, North Carolina at 12:00 noon on Thursday and arrived in Danville, Kentucky at 4:30 pm.  We spent the night there with our daughter’s friends and drove the rest of the way Friday arriving in Wheaton at my brother and sister-in-law’s (30 miles west of Chicago) at 3:00 pm. We then attended a soccer match at Wheaton College at 4:30. If your head is spinning, so was mine!

The purpose of the road trip was the 25 Year Celebration of the Women’s Soccer program and all former players were invited. Saturday also included events celebrating the soccer program’s anniversary. We visited with family Saturday evening and Sunday,  and then left to drive back to North Carolina on Monday morning. This part of the trip was a 12 hour drive, including three stops for meals and stretching legs, and an extra stop for gas.

Right now several of you are thinking…”Is she CRAZY?!!!! Admit it – you think we were out of our minds to travel over 1200 miles with four little boys in just a long weekend. The facts are that the trip went extremely well. The boys were well-behaved and there was only one time each day when they started fussing, right before supper. (that often happens when they are at home – the “whine-while-mom-fixes-supper” hour)

Looking back on my childhood, I have several fond memories of road trips. In fact, my brother and I reminisced about several of these last weekend. We traveled to Yellowstone National Park in 1958 in a sedan with a small hole in the rear floor board. We enjoyed dropping things through the hole and then watch out the back window as those things bounced around on the pavement. We looked for letters of the alphabet, “collected” state license plates, and sang songs for mile after mile. My younger brother also slept on the ledge behind the back seat. There were no seatbelts at that time, we just rolled around the back seat when the car went around curves. (I was so thankful for car seats on our recent road trip! Four floating, rolling, bumping little boys is not a pretty picture.)

Our daughter planned well for the trip. I know that attributed to the contented attitudes of the boys AND the adults. Here are some thoughts on making road trips kid friendly:

  • Have each child pack a tote with a few favorite toys and books. This helps your child feel secure and happy.
  • Have snacks that are non-messy. This makes less mess and avoids sticky car seats, windows, hair, etc.
  • Time trip to fit child’s schedule. We left after lunch so the boys would take their nap. It worked!
  • Plan to stay with family/friends who have children/grandchildren with similar ages as your children. The first night we stayed with a lovely young couple who had two boys. They had toys and a kid friendly home –  our boys felt at home right away. We had a delicious meal and then walked to a park where all five boys ran and played. We spent the next three nights with my brother and sister-in-law. They have a precious 6 month-old granddaughter so they also had toys and a port-a-crib. They took us to a farm/zoo for a picnic lunch which we all thoroughly enjoyed!
  • Save a new book or toy for that time when your child is travel weary. You will know it is time to break out the new toy because you start to feel crabby yourself!
  • Have favorite music to play and sing along. It may also be helpful to do hand motions. If you don’t know what the hand motions are – make some up. Even this limited movement makes riding in the car less tiresome.
  • Stop for meals, gas, and stretch/bathroom breaks where your children can move about. We stopped for two meals at places with a playground. This was so good for the boys to climb, slide, and jump. Another place had picnic tables and a bit of room to walk around.
  • Story tapes are entertaining and distracting for children 3 years and older.
  • Coloring books and puzzle books are great as soon as your child won’t eat the crayons. We weren’t there yet.
  • Talk about what you see out the window. We saw HUGE wind mills in Indiana, cows and horses on farms, several long trains, lots of farms, and the favorite of our crew – TUNNELS!

It is so easy as we get tired while traveling to snap at one another, become irritable, and fuss and whine. Yes, I mean we adults! Jesus faced a situation on one of His journeys where a huge crowd had followed Him and people were crowded around (somewhat like inside a van with 6 people?) and making demands. (I’m tired…. I’m hungry…I don’t want to share…)

Mark 10:13-14  (NLT)

13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so He could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14 When Jesus saw what was happening, He was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.

This is such a lovely picture to me. I want to be like Jesus. I want to reflect our Father’s love to these children that are so precious in His sight. We all have blown it just as these disciples did and been impatient with our children and grandchildren. But we don’t have to remain that way. We can choose to embrace and accept them just as Jesus did.

Oh, by the way….. for those of you who read the post last week No Sense of Direction – our daughter navigated and we did not get lost once! (the two times I suggested an alternate route, she didn’t follow it – it’s a good thing – I was wrong)

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Imperfect Parenting

What is he eating?!

If you were in a bookstore or library and saw a book titled Imperfect Parenting by Paul Apostle would you buy it or check it out? Most of us would ignore such a book – the title alone lacks enticement – no matter who wrote it. When we look for advice or guidance about something, we want positive, encouraging information, even if we sense that something doesn’t ring true. Why would I want to learn to be an imperfect parent?

The truth is that just as we are imperfect individuals, we are also imperfect as parents. That is not to say that we are “off the hook”, or that we can’t improve our performance as parents.

I enjoy hearing the stories behind the athletes that recently participated in the Olympics. It is especially inspiring to hear about those who have overcome daunting obstacles to achieve the goal of representing their country in the Olympics. Some were told they would never “amount to anything”; some were singled out for glory when they were very young and have had to “live up to” burdensome expectations. One common thread thoughout these stories, is that along the way someone believed in them. No athlete at that level makes it on their own. Most of these elite athletes had outstanding coaches, mentors, teammates, siblings, and often parents who encouraged, challenged, and pushed when needed. Many of these athletes reached a point where they felt like giving up, yet someone stepped in to inspire them to press on to reach their goal.

Paul inspires us in Philippians 3: 12-14

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Paul inspires us to “forget what is behind”. That means to forget our mistakes from the past – don’t wallow in the despair of past shortcomings and failures. “Strain toward what is ahead” – press on by doing the things that make us better parents.

  • Turn off the media that distracts us from interacting with our children.
  • Control our tone of voice – even when we are tired and stressed.
  • Follow through when we give our children directions

Each of us has our own areas in which to “press on”. By God’s grace we will come closer to being the parent we should be – still imperfect – but closer to our goal.

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Sense of Humor

“I have a dream that SOMEDAY, I will be able to stand at the stove and fix dinner without little hands pulling my pants down around my knees …..”

“I have a dream that SOMEDAY, I will be able to go to the bathroom, BY MYSELF, without someone banging on the door crying “Mommy, Mommy!”…..”

“I have a dream that SOMEDAY, it will be quiet when I call someone on the phone and crying will not erupt as soon as the phone is answered….”

“I have a dream that SOMEDAY, cleaning up after a meal will not include scraping food off the floor, chairs, and nearby walls….”

I remember clearly the afternoon 25 years ago that a dozen of us moms were waiting to collect our children after T-Ball. We were talking about fixing supper – what we had planned to cook, etc. We were sharing the fact that some of us had something in the crock pot, some had meat thawing on the counter, and some did not have a clue yet what they would serve for supper within the next hour or so.

It was at this point that Sue Bartlett spontaneously broke into her “I have a dream….” speech.  It was in no way disrespectful of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s amazing speech. Sue took the general outline and cadence of the famous sermon and started saying the words above in a loud, commanding voice.

We started laughing and couldn’t stop!  Some of us laughed so hard we doubled over. It was one of those rare moments when humor fits the situation perfectly and all of us connected with Sue. We were living those same situations and yet we often didn’t see them as funny.

Following that afternoon, when one of those “dream” situations occurred – as they often did – I had a totally new perspective. I found myself smiling, remembering Sue’s rendition as my toddler banged on the bathroom door crying. Sometimes I would start to preach my own dream speech to my children as they hung on my legs crying.  I’m sure they thought I had lost it (as they often did) but it lightened the mood and certainly changed my attitude from frustration to irony.

Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Just as this verse from the Book of Wisdom says, seeing the humor in a situation will help us face it in a more positive light. Being the mother of small children is challenging and takes emotional, physical, and intellectual strength. When we find ourselves drained of strength – look for humor – it lightens the load! Next time you see or hear something funny with your child, write it down – you will be encouraged. Then, share it with us so we can laugh with you!