Category Archives: Parenting

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Receiving Gifts

Mom and Dad Mingus mill

After having shared our home with us for almost 9 years, my parents are moving. They are sorting and packing, deciding what to keep, what to give away, and what to take to the Goodwill. Yet there is the inevitable collection of treasured items from 65 years of marriage and almost 90/85 years of life that they will not have room for. We live in a big, old farm house and they had use of several rooms besides “their” bedroom, sitting room, bathroom and guest room, so down-sizing is a challenge.

My parents have generously offered many lovely and interesting treasures to my brothers and myself. We are now at the point of needing to downsize ourselves, so accepting some items has been a challange. To be totally upfront, many of their things are nicer than ours so accepting has NOT been a chore.

We all have “things” we keep that have emotional attachments or special meaning that no one else may share. Phil and I once agreed that we had way too many books and we needed to get rid of some. So, we agreed that we would each go through our book shelves and pull out books we no longer wanted to keep.

That did NOT work! All the books I no longer wanted to keep were significant to Phil, why I don’t know. The books he wanted to donate were books I treasured – he shouldhave known! So the result is that all those books are in our attic.

As my parents have passed on to us treasures from their past, it has caused me to think about gifts we give and receive. We sometimes think a loved one will treasure the same things we do because we think they understand how much those things mean to us.

It reminded me that God has given each of us gifts as HIS children.

Do I treasure those gifts as much as I should?

1 Peter 4:10-11 (NLT)

10 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

These verses clearly state that God has given EACH of us gifts. It is vitally important in our lives as His children to not only receive those gifts, but to use them for His glory.

I plan to use the hand crocheted bedspread my mother just gave me. Not only will it remind me of her, but it will also remind me on the hours of love and care that it took to make the bedspread.

Each gift from our heavenly Father should remind us of His love and care for us.

May we use each gift He has given us for His glory!

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Who did This?

Dogwood at Macktown Gap

Dogwood at Macktown Gap

There it was written on the ceiling plain as day. “Hannah”

We had just gotten bunk beds so that our three daughters who shared a room would have more floor space on which to play. Hannah was the oldest of the three girls and at five, had just learned to write her name. Hannah was also the tallest so she was relegated to the top bunk.

Now it is NOT a good parenting strategy to ask your child a question you know the answer to just to “catch them in a lie’. Yet at the moment I saw the large “Hannah” displayed on our previously pristine ceiling the first words out of my mouth were “Who did this?” (think firm tone of voice – no smile)
* I knew the word had not appeared on it’s own
* I knew neither my husband nor I had written it
* I knew it was not the older brother. (at that time it was like pulling teeth to get him to write ANYTHING!)
* That left three little girls only one of which could write.

Naturally, Hannah said “Salem did it.”

“Why would Salem write “Hannah”? I asked the guilty party.

“‘Cause I teached her.”

The girls did play school often, but the evidence overwhelmingly pointed toward the owner of the name – Hannah.

As an art teacher I have my students Focus on an Artist each Friday. We look at great works of art and discuss the artist, the artist’s motivation, style, materials used to produce the art, etc. Students first want to know WHO created the art work we study and often ask “Why is that art considered great?” Sometimes it is the process itself that is significant, but most often it is the interpretation of the art within the context of the current culture. What did the artist intend to say?

Hannah intended to write her name. When I asked her why she did it, she replied that she just wanted to.

Often artists who are honest will admit they paint a certain subject matter just because they want to.

When we look at the magnificance of spring and the creation around us it begs the question –

Who did this?

Some would say that it all evolved over time – a very, very long time. Some think it exploded into existence, and then diversified over a very, very long time. Some don’t know – except that it wasn’t a divine act. Others think that some force created our universe, but then left it to evolve on its own.

As an artist myself, I look at the world around me and ask “Who did this?”

It is beyond my comprehension to think that the detailed function and beauty of a flower “just happened”. All matter is made up of basic elements. (see, Mr. Phelps – I did hear even if I was talking) As these elements are arranged in various combinations and in various amounts they make up all that exists in our world. I believe the order of the natural world reflects the order of the Creator and gives purpose to all that exists.

The sculptor doesn’t visualize a form in a piece of marble and them sit and wait for it to erode away in exactly the places that will result in eyes, a nose, a mouth, etc. The sculptor chisels away and works until the desired result is achieved.

A potter doesn’t leave a lump of clay out and watch to see what it will become. The potter molds and creates the form that was envisioned for that lump of clay. It requires pressure in the right places.

God tells us in Psalms and again in Romans 1:20 (NLT)

20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

When our children and grandchildren ask – “Who did this? – tell them God did. The evidence is everywhere.

PS – a better parenting strategy – instead of asking “Who did this?” ask the child you know did it – “Why did you write your name on the ceiling?” That gives them a chance to give a flimsy excuse which you immediately see through. You follow up with consequences that fit the misbehavior. Example – child writes on the wall – they must erase it/wash it/ etc.
Effective consequences fit the misbehavior.

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Having it All…But Not All at Once…Part 2

Three Generations - Four Mothers

Three Generations – Four Mothers

I remember as a little girl my mother telling me that when I grew up I could be anything God wanted me to be. What a wonderful gift! There was no limit to what I could become because I knew God was all powerful. I was never told I couldn’t be something because I was a girl. The clear message I heard was that God had a plan for me – and it could be anything.

I had two brothers, one older and one younger and I never felt that they had more options in life than me. God had a plan for each of us based on His will. My options were not based on societal norms, pressures to be successful, or pressure from my parents to live their unfulfilled dreams through me. The only expectation I felt was that God had a plan for my life and it was GOOD.

I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. I began teaching my stuffed animals and dolls at a young age. I also played church and would lead the singing, preach, and take up the offering. I did it all! One Sunday when I was in 1st grade, I went to Sunday School and told Mrs. Green my Sunday School teacher that I would teach the lesson that day. (she told me this many years later – I hope I asked her and didn’t just tell her – but like I said – I always wanted to teach!)

I taught for three years during which time I got married. I became pregnant after we were married a year and a half. The Lead Teacher at Almond School where I taught was a dedicated teacher I very much respected. She told me when she found out I was pregnant that if I could, I should stay home with my baby until he got older. She had gone right back to work after the birth of each of her two children and she said that if she had it to do over, she would have stayed home a few years.

Phil had decided to go to seminary, but we tightened our belts and I stayed home for the next 10 years. After that I worked part time for several years, going back to full time teaching in 2002.

Does that sound like a lot? I did NOT do it all at once!

I mention this because our culture scares women into thinking that they must stay in their job or they will lose every opportunity. There is also a strong message that women who do choose to stay home are missing out “on something”. I have been blessed to be able to teach public school, teach as a volunteer in a Christian school, work part time as a Health Education Specialist, and teach full time again. I also have been able to create art here and there along the way.

The point is NOT whether you are working outside your home or at home, or both – the issue is having peace that you are where God wants you to be at this time.
Let me share briefly about the next generation of women in my family. Our three daughters all graduated from college and each pursued various careers in: Legislative Staff for a US Congressman on Capitol Hill, teaching high school Political Science, nursing, coaching women’s soccer at every level from college to middle school, teaching Special Education at the elementary and middle school levels, and staying home with young children.

Does that sound like a lot? They did NOT do it all, nor all at once!

What I want to communicate clearly to the next generation, our grandchildren, is that God has a plan for their lives that will allow them to use their unique gifts and abilities while serving Him.

Ephesians 3:19-21(NLT)

19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

We are able to “have it all”, in fact verse 20 says ” infinitely more than we might ask or think”.
I LOVE that last part – “through ALL generations forever and ever! Amen!”
We will have it all … in God’s way and in His time.