Category Archives: Parenting

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Joy!

I was blessed to attend a women’s conference in Hickory this weekend with two of our daughters. The main speaker was very good, but the thing that blessed me the most was the fact that the ladies who coordinated this event did not feel the need to just  “bring in big names” as speakers. They had asked some local women to speak in the break-out sessions and they did a wonderful job sharing from God’s Word. One speaker, Carol, shared about “Consider it Pure Joy”  from James 1 and there were several things she said that really spoke to my heart.

Throughout my life, since the time I was a very small child, people have said that I have a lot of  “joy”.  That may be because I smile often – and that gives the impression that I have joy. Yet, truth be known, joy is much more than smiles or happy faces. Carol shared that joy is defined as the “prospect of possessing what you most desire.”  (Webster’s Dictionary) When I am planning to spend the weekend with our grandchildren, I am filled with joy!!! The prospect of their happy faces, hugs, and “I love, you, Nana” all fill my heart with joy  – which says that being with my grandchildren is something I desire.

I remember being THRILLED when we found out we were pregnant with our first child. Becoming a mother was something I greatly desired. Joy was the result. Yet, two and one-half years later, when I found out I was pregnant with #3, my first reaction was NOT joy.

  • my milk dried up and #2 was just 6 months old
  • our 1st two children were still in diapers
  • my body was spent
  • we lived in a two bedroom apartment, both tiny bedrooms

There was no joy –  because I did not desire another child at that time. The problem was NOT the pregnancy – the real problem was my desire. As I prayed and allowed God to adjust my desires , I began to anticipate the birth of our third child. It was not an overnight change, but gradually I realized that God’s timing is perfect –  irregardless of my desires. As I began to desire the birth of our precious 3rd child, my heart changed and joy was the result!

I still had to

  • stop breastfeeding
  • have 3 children in diapers at the same time
  • put 3 cribs in a small bedroom
  •  and feel tired.

My joy was restored by God’s grace. Those of you who know our 3rd child know what joy she brings to our family and all those who know her. God’s plans for us are so much greater than our plans!!

The challenge for all of us is to desire the right things. First and foremost – we should desire God.

Psalm 16:11 (NIV)

11 You make known to me the path of life;
   you will fill me with joy in your presence,
   with eternal pleasures at your right hand

This scripture shows that the Psalmist desired to know God’s path and the reward was fullness of joy!

If we do not feel joy, we must examine our hearts and ask what do we desire?  Fullness of joy is worth adjusting our desires!

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Distractions

Okay – truth be known – I am easily distracted. (hold the “amens”, girls!) One of our daughters used to call out “Gayle” loudly when “Mom” failed to get a response after three or four tries. That did get my attention! I’ve always said my mind is on higher things – although that may not always be the case. I also have claimed I have an active mind. I am visually oriented, which has served me well as an artist, but occasionally leads to swerving off the road while spying particularly deep blue hydrangeas in someones yard, or noticing a combination of fall foliage that is striking. This is not due to advanced age – I attribute our youngest daughter’s unusually accurate sense of direction to the fact that she started at an early age giving me directions while driving since she realized I had missed a turn or was heading the wrong way.

Yet, I can focus when I choose to. As an act of my will I intentionally pay attention to road signs to get to my intended destination – beautiful flowers along the roadside flitting by unnoticed or not. There will always be things that distract me, but I can choose to focus my attention on what is most important.

I have visited playgrounds literally all across the country with our grandchildren. Our daughters all know where parks with playgrounds are located and we have packed picnics and enjoyed playing with our grandchildren as they show us their ability to navigate the jungle gym or slide down the big slide. I love to see children playing outside – running, swinging, jumping, sliding, climbing, yes, and sometimes falling. The joyful abandonment they feel playing in the outdoors is a blessing to watch.

I have noticed something that saddens me, though. As we are playing with the grandkids, I notice that many parents are sitting on the perimeter of the play area engrossed in their electronic media.  Moms and dads are texting, checking the internet, even playing games on their smart phone while their children are unnoticed and sometimes unsupervised. They are not “playing together” – parents and children are isolated from each other by the distraction of their phones, etc.

I have had little boys and girls come up to me while playing with my grandchildren and ask me – a total stranger – “Watch me slide down – I can do it!” or “Will you push me next?” “Look – I can climb up all by myself!” These children see me bragging on my grandchildren, catching them, pushing them on swings, playing with them, and they want that same attention – but it is not available for them. I have a sense that sometimes the parents bring their children to the playground so the children will not distract the parent while the parent is using their electronic device.

Certainly their is a time and place to use I-Phones, Kindles, etc. Yet parents are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to play with their children at the playground. I will venture to say that there is opportunity to do both at a playground – play with your child and let the child play by herself or with other children. Yet I have watched parents look up in disgust when a child repeatedly calls for their attention – either looking like they are upset for being distracted from their I-Pad, or even saying – “Not now – can’t you see I’m busy?” It is important to be intentional about interacting with our children – that does not mean saying “Good Job” without looking up from Facebook!

It is likely that in most all these situations the parents are loving, caring individuals. They are just distracted. At that moment – something is more important to them than their children. What message is this sending to their child?

As a Christian, I can be easily distracted as well. Sometimes the very thing distracting me is a blessing, but it has moved into my field of vision in a way that blocks my focus on Jesus. I like they way the Amplified version of Paul’s letter to the Hebrews puts this –

Hebrews 12:1-2

 1THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence                                                                                            the appointed course of the race that is set before us,

    2Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

    3Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing                                               and fainting in your minds.

Let us make an intentional effort on focus on what really matters as mothers and daughters of our heavenly Father.

God Bless You!

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Like Grandmother – Like Granddaughter

Yesterday I had the delightful experience of attending our oldest granddaughter’s first art show. The theme of the show was “Diversity” and she had painted a lovely picture of colorful flowers illustrating the diversity of color in our world. As an art teacher, I realize that selecting the winning entries for an art show is a very subjective endeavor, and I was pleased that our granddaughter’s work was selected. It was fun to attend with her family and celebrate her artistic talent together. Nana, the art teacher was so proud!

My grandmother was an artist. She began oil painting when she was 56 years old and painted until she was over 90 years old. I remember how pleased she was when I began drawing and painting as a young girl. Grandma always encouraged me and thought whatever I did was “Beautiful!”  When I chose to major in art in college, she was thrilled! (that is not always the reaction when one chooses ART as a major).Grandma and I visited the Art Institute in Chicago as well as various art shows when we traveled. It was special that we shared the love of art and creating and it caused our relationship to be especially close. (my mother will be quick to tell you I was spoiled being the only granddaughter – she is right!)

I’ve thought about how much joy we feel as parents, and now as grandparents, when a child or grandchild follows in our footsteps and does something we enjoy or love to do. Parents who enjoy sports, fishing, hunting, sewing, piano, etc. are thrilled when their child shows interest and ability in those pursuits. It is SO MUCH FUN to enjoy these activities together.

Think about the joy our heavenly Father feels when we delight in the things that matter to Him.

       Psalm 1          

 1 Blessed is the one  who does not walk in step with the wicked,

       or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,  

 2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,   and who meditates on His law day and night.

 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,  which yields its fruit in season,  

           and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.

Our culture is full of opportunities to improve ourselves or various aspects of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Promises of health and prosperity abound. Yet, God is clear, we must DELIGHT IN HIM, then He will fulfill His purposes in and through us.

Our Heavenly Father wants to bless us when we chose to follow in His ways. I am encouraged by the message of the above scripture that if I delight in God’s law – I will be like a fruitful tree. What a promise!  As much as I am blessed by my granddaughter’s artistic talent, more than anything I want her and all our grandchildren to learn to delight in God and His ways. Therefore, I must set the example of delighting in God myself so that they will see God’s purpose fulfilled in my life and want that themselves.